Off The 'Net
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
DOS Defunct Operating System
BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM I Blame Microsoft
DEC Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
The Top 12 Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support
12) "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
11) "...that's right, not even MacGyver could fix it."
10) "So -- what are you wearing?"
9) "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
8) "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."
7) "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."
6) "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."
5) "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
4) "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
3) "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
2) "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics." ...and the Number 1 Thing You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support...
1) "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."