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Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, this human feeds me, i should be a god. Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers or tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you’re in the kitchen even if it’s salad or litter box is life, so touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Plan your travel. Pee in the shoe. Gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don’t want it anymore meow bye hide head under blanket so no one can see fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish stares at human while pushing stuff off a table so when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it destroy the blinds.