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Subject: Mentoring tips on steps to success

Some of the messages I will be sending out to our online community are organized around the following advice, synthesized from hundreds of responses from successful young people and adults with disabilities who responded to a survey:

1. Define success for yourself.
2. Set personal, academic, and career goals. Keep your expectations high.
3. Understand your abilities and disabilities. Play to your strengths.
4. Develop strategies to reach your goals.
5. Use technology as an empowering tool.
6. Work hard. Persevere. Be flexible.
7. Develop a support network. Look to family, friends, and teachers.

I will be sending the mentors some summary information in addition to the messages I send to our entire online community.

[name of e-mentoring administrator]

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Subject: Mentoring tips on definition of success

In the next message to the electronic community I will ask participants how they define "success" for themselves. Here are examples of how this question was answered by a group of successful teens and adults with disabilities. These responses might provide some inspiration as you interact with the teens in our community.

• To me, having a successful life is being able to do things independently for myself and not always have someone there to do things for me. It's achieving my goals on my own terms and at my own pace. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• Success is a relative term. If you achieve what you want to and are happy, then I think that is success. It could be applied to life in general or to individual tasks in life. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• My definition of success is achieving personal goals, whatever they may be. Some goals are considered small by some people and enormous by others. What matters is that they are personal; each individual has his/her own formula for personal success. (college student who is deaf)
• I remember what my high school voice teacher told the class as we prepared for our senior solo. She said, "Success comes in CANS, and failure comes in CAN'TS." (speech language pathologist who is blind)
• Succeeding is accomplishing my dreams. However slowly I am moving toward that, to some degree I am succeeding. (high school student who is blind)
• Even though you might not have obtained that set goal, you are successful if you tried your best. (college student with a brain injury)
• To me, success is being able to do whatever it takes to lead a productive life. (young person who is blind) Success? That's an easy one. BE HAPPY. (high school student with a learning disability)

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Subject: Learning from successful experiences

The following statements about success were made by people with a variety of disabilities.

• For me, a successful life is living comfortably and satisfied. I don't need to be rich, just have enough money to get what I need and a few things that I want. I would like to have a good job that I enjoy doing and live in a decent-sized apartment with my husband and kids. As long as I have my family and we can live well, I'll be satisfied. This will be when I feel I can say I have achieved success.
• Success is pursuing what you want. Even when you fail or when setbacks occur, to choose to continue pursuing something is a success of its own. If you then happen to accomplish what you set out to do, that's another success. But, always, you must keep trying, keep your goals in mind, and give your best. Then, even if things don't turn out the way you hope, you have succeeded.
• The wonderful thing in this world is not where we are, but rather in what direction we are moving. My master's degree is a nice symbol of many challenges overcome and achievements attained. However, the times I've touched another person's life are even more important to me and confirm that I'm successful.
• I live my life by the SABAH (Skating Association for the Blind & Handicapped) motto: "I CAN do it, I CAN skate." Learning how to ice-skate changed my life forever. I am happier and healthier in every aspect of my life.
• To me success is knowing and understanding yourself, acceptance, and love.

Imagine being eighty years old. At that time in your life how do you think you would evaluate how successful your life has been?

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Subject: Finding your goals for success

One successful person in an online discussion about definitions of success said:

Success may be when you educate the educators about your disability. Or achieve the National Honor Society. Or a date with the cute guy/gal. A homeless person's success might be finding a permanent shelter. To a college graduate, starting work. To someone working at a company, success might be attaining the CEO's position. Or success might be just getting through today. (adult with mobility and speech impairments)

What specific goals for success relate to your life?

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Subject: Learning from teens with disabilities

The DO-IT Scholars program supports teens with disabilities as they pursue college and careers. Consult the most current version of the Snapshots publication online on the DO-IT Scholars Snapshots page.

Explore the interests and experiences of teens with disabilities whose bios are included in the publication. Consider how their interests compare with yours.

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Subject: Learning from role models

It can be encouraging to know or read about individuals with disabilities who are working in fields in which you are interested. These people can become role models for you. You can try to emulate qualities that you admire, and they can provide inspiration for pursuing careers. Are you interested in being an engineer? An accountant? A biologist? A computer scientist? A physicist?

Role models can be people you know or people you don't know; they can be famous or relatively unknown. In this activity you'll learn about the lives of potential role models for you.

Visit the websites with the following addresses to learn about people in different careers and with a wide variety of disabilities.

www.disabilityhistory.org/people/
https://independenceinc.org/what-theyre-saying/
www.as.wvu.edu/~scidis/organize/fsdrole.html
netac.rit.edu/goals
https://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/28/arts/design/28callahan.html

Choose one individual in a career that interests you. Send a short message to the group about this person. Include an answer to at least one of the following questions:

• What disability does this individual have, and what have they done to make the disability an advantage in life?
• What attitudes does this person have that contribute to his/her success?
• What actions has this person taken to improve his/her life? To improve the lives of others?
• What is interesting to you about this individual's job responsibilities or other activities?
• What accommodations does this individual use in specific situations?
• What special skills does this person use for success?
• What have you learned from this person's story that you will apply in your own life?

Send this message to the e-community of protégés and mentors.

Subject: Discovering academic success factors

Thirty-six college students with disabilities were asked to identify factors that influenced their academic success. Factors related to their personal beliefs are listed below. For each, think about whether you possess the characteristic.

• Discipline
• Effort
• Personal ambitions
• Self-confidence
• Prior knowledge and experience
• Ability

Tell us about someone you know who has at least one of these qualities. Give an example of his/her behavior that demonstrates this quality.

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Subject: The best teacher award

As you define success for yourself, sometimes it can be helpful to think about how you measure the success of someone else. Think about what it means to be a good teacher and about your best teachers in school.

Tell us who you would nominate for a "Best Teacher Award" and describe at least one quality that qualifies this teacher for the award.

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Subject: Defining success

Success means different things to different people. How do you define success for yourself?

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Subject: Keeping a positive attitude

A positive attitude is often key to a successful life. Described below are ways that a positive attitude has enhanced the lives of people with a wide variety of disabilities. Contributors also share factors in their lives that helped them develop a positive attitude. Reflect on these responses as you mentor protégés in our e-community.

• Most of our society is "average." As far as I can tell, "average" is a wide gap, and as far as I'm concerned, I fall somewhere in the middle of it. (adult with a mobility impairment)
• I can attribute most of my positive attitude to the support system in my life—most importantly my parents. They've helped me to see the light and laughter in tough situations and have always been supportive with endeavors that help me to be successful in life. Most importantly, they've raised me to be an independent and outgoing individual, which goes hand in hand with having a positive attitude. They expected me to do on my own everything that was possible for me to do on my own. (college student who is paraplegic)
• I spent a lot of my childhood in a hospital bed, so I would have gone crazy had I wallowed in the disease of self-pity. I've tried to refrain from wallowing in self-pity or self-righteousness. Both paths lead to nowhere. There were times, of course, when I absolutely hated being "disabled" and wished the struggles away. There were many things I wanted to do that I didn't really see myself doing from the "confines" of a wheelchair. For example, I wanted to dance....I mean REALLY dance....floating through the air. You just can't do that from a four-wheeled object, and, besides, I have quite a large ego and I'm pretty much a perfectionist, and I couldn't do it the way it was "supposed" to be done. But I DID dance, in my dreams....and so I learned to play the music that others danced to....and that was OK. (adult with a mobility impairment)
• For me, being with the same peers all through my schooling gave me confidence because my peers learned to look past my disability. I was also active in Boy Scouts, earned my Eagle rank, and am still active as an assistant Scoutmaster. This gave me purpose and fun with a group. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• Sometimes I fall into the bad habit of negativity. I am, however, successful at swimming upstream, where I find myself able to catch my breath, gain some of my strength back, and carry on with this thing called "life." I still look forward to tomorrow, because I know there is something that I've yet to complete, some place that I've yet to discover, and some person that I haven't met who needs to see me smile or feel my touch or hear a bit of cheer. (adult with a mobility impairment)
• I have a positive attitude, and I am optimistic about my future. This attitude was developed through a great deal of encouragement by adults and through my own experiences growing up. Also, the many new advances in technology that have given me opportunities in life contribute to this optimism. Doors are now open to me as far as jobs are concerned. (college student who is blind)
• I think I have a positive attitude because all my life I've been around positive people. My parents know that there is no limit to what I can do, despite my disability. When my brother was born, I couldn't walk or even crawl, and I was three at the time. Now, I'm able to walk, with help from a walker or a cane. I feel optimistic about my future because I know I can do anything that I set my mind to. (high school student with hearing, speech, and mobility impairments)
• Whenever I find myself not being positive, I try to put into perspective how fortunate I truly am, and usually what I'm upset about ends up looking pretty trivial. (college student who is paraplegic)
• Whenever my positive attitude gets deflated, I always think that things could be a lot worse than they are, and that makes me thankful for what I do have and have to offer to others. Another key factor that helps to develop and maintain a positive attitude is finding something physically that I enjoy doing and am good at. For me, I love exercising and being in shape. So in my spare time I work out, run, and go rock climbing. (student who had a stroke)

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Subject: Building a positive attitude

• Successful people tend to have a positive attitude and are optimistic about their future. Reply to this message with an answer to at least one of the following questions: Do you have a positive attitude? Why or why not? Do you feel optimistic about the future?
• How do you think you developed your attitudes?
• How, if at all, would you like to change your attitudes and why?

Send this message to the e-community of protégés and mentors.

Subject: Finding humor

Successful people tend to be able to see the light side of situations. This includes finding the humor in things that happen to people because of their disabilities. In an online discussion, people with hearing impairments shared the following funny experiences.

• I once got off a plane in Sioux Falls and had a wheelchair waiting for me because they knew I had a disability. I am deaf.
• One of my favorite stories was told to me by a counselor who is deaf. He's driving through a drive-through window. He gets to the speaker and says, "Hello, I'm deaf and won't be able to hear you. I can read lips so we can communicate when I get to the window." All of a sudden this woman in the booth gets this "Oh good, I'm trained for this, I know what to do" look on her face as she runs out and gives the guy a Braille menu....in his car....he's driving.
• It's happened more than once that someone will come up to me and ask me if I'm from France or Germany or Switzerland or some European country because of my "accent." You can imagine the shock on their faces when I tell them I have a hearing impairment. Some of them act embarrassed. "Bonjour!" That's all the French I know! :)
• In my sophomore year of high school my math teacher left the room for a minute when I was using an FM amplification system (which amplifies the voice of the speaker, who is wearing a clip-on microphone, into my hearing aid). The teacher had the microphone attached to his shirt. If you leave the room with the FM system, the sound doesn't stop transmitting! :) Well, I heard some running water, and so I turned my FM off to save myself and my teacher from a major embarrassment. A few minutes later, I looked up and my teacher was right there in front of me. His face was as red as a beet as he announced, "I was just washing my hands, okay?"
• I've had the same experience! After class I told him I was scheduling an "FM Embarrassment Seminar" for the teachers who use the FM system. We still joke about it.

Share a humorous situation that occurred as a result of your disability.

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Subject: Affirming success

Successful people learn from their experiences. Below, successful people with disabilities share advice on learning from their experiences as they work toward achieving goals.

• Find something that you do well, and use that as a stepping stone to succeed in other areas.
• Never, ever give up on your dreams and goals, no matter what happens. Like they say, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!" Just because you don't make it the first or second or third time doesn't mean you will never make it. Every time you don't make it will make you a stronger person and will make you want to reach your goals even more.

Read each of the following affirmations of successful individuals and reflect on whether it applies to you now.

• I am resilient.
• I can handle things that happen to me in a positive way.
• I compare outcomes to what I expected.
• I compare my performance to what I expected.
• I make adjustments based on outcomes.

Select one of the statements that is not always true for you now and describe one example of what you can do to make this statement stronger in your life.

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Subject: Mentoring tips on goals

You can help young people set and reach goals. Consider the following recommendations from successful people with disabilities:

• If a goal can't be reached, help the child modify the goal in a way that makes it more attainable. (adult with a mobility impairment)
• One of the main reasons people do not set high expectations is fear of failure. In my opinion, fear is more "disabling" than any other disability. To address this, adults can start by setting achievable goals that are not long-term. The more success is experienced, the higher or longer the adults should help the young person set the next goal. Build on each success and make each goal a little higher. Think of it as a metaphorical high jump. You cannot set the bar too high in the beginning or you just set yourself up for failure. (adult with hearing and mobility impairments)
• The first is not to focus on the disability at all. I'm certain that being mainstreamed all of my life kept me in touch with what other minds, disabled and non-, knew. The second is almost Zen-like. Let the young person find the path they want to follow. Everyone has talents. When this occurs, do your utmost to make opportunities for success available. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• Don't discourage them with your own doubts. Believe in them, and know that they can do it, even if it takes extra time. Don't try to do stuff for us that you know we should do for ourselves. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• Don't stop young people from what they want to achieve, but support them and definitely be there with them. Help them along the way. When I water-skied and rock climbed, my husband was right there beside me....and just as concerned as everyone else, but he encouraged me. I think encouragement is key, and supporting young people is very important. (college student who had a stroke)

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Subject: Mentoring tips on goal setting

In the following statements successful people with disabilities share how they have set goals and developed high expectations for themselves. These quotations may serve to prepare you for helping teens set high yet achievable goals for themselves.

• As for personal goals, I had a saying after I became disabled: "Once I am able to water-ski again, I'll know I can do anything, because water-skiing takes strength, endurance, and balance, three things that I lacked. When I can water-ski, I'll know I have these three things again." Well, I am proud to say that this past summer I not only water-skied again, but I got up on my first try!!! So, although reality says that I may not be capable of doing ANYTHING, I know that I can accomplish a lot more now that I came up on the skis! (college student who had a stroke)
• I'm just stubborn and I refuse to lower my expectations. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• Very early on, I became the stubborn guy I am today. "Can't" wasn't in my vocabulary, which was helped by parents who offered me opportunities to do most of the things everyone else did and encouraged me to set high standards. By now, I realize that everyone has a path in life that their unique set of talents and lack thereof give them. I will never be mistaken for an athlete. However, knowing what talents I do have, I press myself to be the best historian/philosopher/writer that I can be. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• I am still in the process of learning to "stretch," but I start by identifying what I can already do—what I am comfortable doing and feel good at. Then I say to myself (sometimes in writing), I can do more. I can do better; what is it BEYOND what I already can do that I want to be able to do? Then I write down goals and make efforts to "stretch" myself. (adult with hearing and mobility impairments)

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Subject: Setting goals

Successful people set high yet achievable goals for themselves. What advice would you give to parents, teachers, and mentors as they try to help young people with disabilities set goals and keep their expectations high?

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Subject: Promoting high expectations

Sometimes students with disabilities and those who work with them set academic and career goals too low. Sometimes this is because of their lack of knowledge of empowering tools that can be used by people with disabilities in careers in which they have been historically underrepresented.

For more information about the accessibility of careers for people with disabilities, consult the AccessCAREERS searchable Knowledge Base and related resources at AccessCollege: The Employment Office.

For a better understanding of tools and strategies that help people with disabilities pursue careers in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics, consult the AccessSTEM searchable Knowledge Base and related resources.

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Subject: Mentoring tips on getting help with setting goals

In my next message to the electronic community I will ask members to share experiences about setting high standards for themselves. Please share your experiences. To stimulate ideas, consider the following statements made by successful people with disabilities.

• My parents....taught me never to say "I can't" at anything I try. That's why I'm where I am and who I am today. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• My mobility teacher made me confident in my ability to learn, which has helped me maintain high expectations. (college student who is blind)
• My parents actively sought help for my hearing impairment in the forms of speech therapists, audiologists, and teachers to make sure that I had an equal chance in public schools. (college student who is deaf)
• I was not treated differently than my brother and sister in any way because I could not see. They expected me to perform as well as I would have if I could see. This did not just include academic performance; it included everything, such as personal grooming and communication skills. (computer scientist who is blind)
• Three factors were of primary importance in setting my internal standards for performance and achievement.
  1. My mother always thought that I was a little better than most at whatever I undertook, even when she was wrong. Her attitude taught me that I could undertake anything that I was willing to set my mind to, even when I was mediocre. In school, every time I got lazy and did poor work, I got told that I was working "way below my abilities."
  2. I was very competitive, for grades in school and in the athletic activity of my choosing—fencing.
  3. A friend of mine who I met fencing had polio when he was three years old and had severe motor loss in both legs, but he still fenced, making up for his limited mobility with an incredibly fast and strong hand and arm. He was quite successful in competition. Therefore, when I got polio at twenty-five years of age, I knew that it wasn't the end of the world and that I could do anything anybody else could as long as I could sit down to do it. (adult with a mobility impairment)

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Subject: Getting help to set high expectations

What people (parents, siblings, friends, mentors, teachers) in your life have helped you maintain high standards for yourself? You can also share stories about how people have made it difficult for you to maintain high expectations for yourself.

Send this message to the e-community of protégés and mentors.

Subject: Matching academic interests with careers

It is fun to explore the careers pursuing your academic interests might lead to. To find out what careers specific college studies might prepare you for, access at least one of the websites with the following addresses:

uncw.edu/career/majorexploration.html
content.monstertrak.monster.com/tools/careerconverter

Enter different major fields of study at the site, and explore careers to which completing college degrees in those majors might lead.

Reply to this message and tell us what you learned about pursuing careers that interest you.

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Subject: People with disabilities and STEM

People with disabilities are underrepresented in challenging careers such as those in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM). Students with disabilities are not often encouraged to pursue these fields. DO-IT maintains a collection of resources to encourage these students to pursue STEM and to help educators make reasonable accommodations for them. Check out the AccessSTEM website. Explore the "Knowledge Base" of questions and answers, case studies, and promising practices and select the "Resources" button to read publications, view videos online, and address issues related to STEM access for students with disabilities. This exploration will prepare you for discussion of the questions I present to the e-community in my next message.

Send this message to the e-community of protégés and mentors.

Subject: Pursuing STEM

Students with disabilities are often discouraged from pursuing challenging careers such as those in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM). Why do you think this is the case? Do you think students with disabilities should be discouraged from pursuing these fields? Have you been encouraged or discouraged in STEM areas of study?

Send this email message to the e-community of protégés and mentors.

Subject: Considering college options

Consider college options for reaching a specific career goal. For example, if you decide that you would like to have a career as an electrical engineer, you should consider the academic programs at various schools that will provide you with the training you will need. Funding options are also important to consider.

1. Access the DO-IT website.
2. Select "AccessCollege."
3. Select "The Student Lounge."
4. Select "Colleges, Universities and Financial Aid."

Explore at least one of the listed websites, and tell us what you learn.

Send this message to the e-community of protégés and mentors.

Subject: Making plans

If you want to succeed at something, you need to plan for success. Break down big, long-term goals into smaller, achievable steps. Review at least one of the following websites:

Career Planning Process
www.bgsu.edu/offices/sa/career/page18303.html

The Person-Centered Planning Education Site
www.ilr.cornell.edu/edi/pcp

Planning a Career
mappingyourfuture.org/PlanYourCareer/

Tell us about a goal you have regarding recreation, school, or employment. List at least three things you need to do to reach this goal, and identify at least one thing you can do right now to move closer to your goal.

Send this message to the e-community of protégés and mentors.

Subject: Affirming success

Read each of the following statements and think about whether it applies to you now.

• Life is good.
• I don't let others inhibit my dreams.
• I'm an expert on my disability and/or learning challenges, how they impact my life, and what accommodations work for me.
• My disability is only one aspect of who I am.
• My disability does not dictate my goals.
• I have control over the most important aspects of my life.
• I make independent decisions for myself.
• Just because I fail at one thing does not mean I am a failure.
• I use technology to maximize my success.
• I know what I need and when to ask for help.
• I value my friendships.
• I see the humor in life experiences.

Give one example of what you can do to make one of these statements stronger in your life. Tell how a parent, a guardian, a teacher, or another person you know could help you make this statement stronger in your life and how you can obtain their assistance.

Send this message to the mentors only.

Subject: Mentoring tips on disability acceptance

People with disabilities who consider themselves successful generally accept their disabilities as simply one aspect of who they are. They do not define themselves by their disabilities. They recognize that they are not responsible for their disabilities; instead, they take responsibility for their own happiness and success. People with disabilities who responded to an online survey on this topic made the following statements:

• God makes each one of us with an ability; society creates the "dis." (adult with a visual impairment)
• My personal opinion about disabilities is that everyone is disabled. It just so happens that there is a certain group whose disabilities are more obvious than others. (high school student with mobility and visual impairments)
• Believe in who you are and what you want to achieve, and don't let anyone or anything stop you from reaching your goals. (college student with a mobility impairment).
• Sometimes you run into people who think it is extraordinary that you do what you do with a disability. The important people in your life (like your parents) expect you to earn your way in the world and be responsible just like everybody else. (college student who is blind)
• Don't allow anyone to convince you that your disability is disabling! Don't allow society to ban you from a certain profession simply because disabled individuals have traditionally avoided that field! Remember always that you and only you have control of your life. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• My mom, my grandma, and my aide at school are all responsible people and have taught me that characteristic. If you aren't responsible, you won't succeed. Not only should you take responsibility for the good things, but also for your mistakes. (young person with Muscular Dystrophy)
• My parents helped me learn to accept responsibility for myself by treating me the same as my siblings. They gave me the same punishments and chores, and they expect me to do well in school. (high school student with speech, hearing, and mobility impairments)
• My mom gave me enough independence so that I could learn the consequences of my actions. This is how I developed good judgment. I also learned that constructive criticism is a good thing....It's how I learn to do things more efficiently the next time around. This is where mentors become a valuable resource. (graduate student with a hearing impairment)
• There was a teacher who opened my door to the world. She taught me to accept who I was. Early on, I began building self-confidence and self-esteem. To this day, those qualities allow me to stand up for my beliefs and to act on my own convictions. (college student with a hearing impairment)
• As people with disabilities we need to be assertive about what we need and don't need. We need to make our needs clearly, politely known. (adult with a mobility impairment)
• Do not make people feel sorry for you or pity you. Get people to view you as an able person who is capable of anything within your reach if the doors of opportunity are open. (graduate student with a hearing impairment)
• Clearly, disabilities can be obstacles. However, it's important to focus on obstacles that problem solving can surmount. Sometimes trade-offs do exist. I once wanted to go into biochemistry, but my lack of fine-motor skills and general distrust of lab partners made me realize that I wanted something I could do on my own—hence, history-philosophy. Admittedly, I rerouted, but for those who are determined to be biochemists and such, most obstacles can be overcome with abilities. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• We should focus on the ABILITY in disability more than the DIS. If we can do that, then we are more apt to succeed. Also, know your limits. If you don't know what you can or can't do, how do you expect other people to know? Plan for success by using more of the cans than the can'ts. (college student with mobility impairments)

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Subject: Accepting disability

A personal factor that has been identified as a characteristic of successful college students with disabilities is "acceptance of disability," suggesting that successful students understand the impact of their disabilities and accept them as something they must deal with in their daily life. This could apply to other challenges, such as financial limitations and family issues.

Share a challenge in your life that you have to overcome, or work around, in order to achieve success.

Send this message to the mentors only.

Subject: Mentoring tips on labels

Our attitudes are reflected in the labels we use. How society labels individuals with disabilities as a group can have an impact on how young people with disabilities view themselves.

Responding to negative labels can test self-identity and self-value. Below is part of one conversation about terminology used to describe people with disabilities that took place in an online discussion of people with disabilities. These comments provide insights into how we as a society can best communicate about and with individuals who have disabilities, including the young people with whom we interact. Although specific opinions vary, they all promote using person-first language; describing a disability in a respectful, straightforward, and truthful way; and avoiding expressions that suggest that the disability implies anything beyond a specific functional limitation. Insights gained from reading these comments may be helpful as you mentor participants in our electronic community.

• The phrase "differently abled" annoys me. My belief is that there is nothing inherent in a disability that makes us better in something else. Besides, the "differently abled" term tends to evoke the "supercrip" image.
• The term "differently abled" drives me nuts. It strikes me as a phrase coined by nondisabled people who were trying to be politically correct but really had no idea what they were talking about. Some nondisabled people tend to think, also, that a term referring to a deficit, rather than a difference, is offensive to us. I don't know about everyone else, but I know I'm not offended by it. I do still prefer "disabled" to "handicapped;" however, my mom still uses "handicapped." I always tell her, "Handicaps are for bowlers and golfers."
• I really don't like the concept of being politically correct (PC). My personal guess is that PC was created by a bunch of people who felt guilty about how they treated others. Bottom line is as long as it shows respect for the person, that's cool. I prefer "person with a disability." The point is that the person comes first and is separated from the disability.
• The problem with these names is that they're to get us all into one group for convenience's sake. But for each of us, there is a term that's true. I'm blind, for example. If you say I'm blind, I say, "Yes I am." But physically challenged, disabled, handicapped....hmmmm.
• The world, as I know it today, thrives on labels. And this is one area where the world isn't prejudiced. We've got geek, nerd, grunge, cool, old, stupid, dude, poor, rich, straight, queer, black, Yankee, hick, redneck, deaf, dumb, etc., etc. It seems that if there weren't labels no one on this planet would know how to talk about someone else.
• A couple of conclusions that I've come to are these. First, we "label" things so that we CAN talk about them. That is the purpose of language—to identify people, places, things, ideas, and feelings. If we had no term to describe a person who has a disability, we would not have the Americans with Disabilities Act, this discussion list, or any of the other access instruments that we've all seen develop in the past several years. I don't think the problem is necessarily in the language, but rather in the negative feelings that may be behind the language. Humans have to communicate, and we do it most often through language. Identifying thoughts, objects, and even people as clearly as possible is a good thing. Using language to discriminate or be cruel is a bad thing.
• If people feel it's necessary to describe me, I prefer my name and "who is physically challenged." Too many people associate Cerebral Palsy with mental disabilities (which irritates me!).

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Subject: Trying new things

You can't learn about all of your abilities and interests if you don't try new things. Cook something new. Learn about a famous person. Plant a garden. Learn to play a musical instrument. Paint a picture. Write a poem. Join a club. Learn to sew. Plan a party.

Tell us about something you tried and then developed an interest in.

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Subject: Identifying your likes and dislikes

You will spend a long time in school and at work. Building on things that you like to do and learn about is one step toward a fulfilling life. Give some thought to your likes and dislikes. Think about how you would complete each partial sentence below.

1. One thing I really like to do is:
   One thing I really dislike doing is:
2. One activity I really like at school is:
   One activity I don't like at school is:
3. The subject I like most at school is:
   The subject I like least at school is:
4. One activity I really like for recreation is:
   A recreational activity I don't like is:
5. Something I like to do with my friends is:
   One thing I don't like doing with my friends is:
6. An activity I like to do when I'm alone is:
   ​One activity I don't like to do alone is:

Share with the group a job you might enjoy because of your likes and dislikes.

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Subject: Mentoring tips on incorrect assumptions

Successful people accept their disabilities as one aspect of who they are. They do not deny the existence of limitations, but they also do not allow their disabilities to define who they are. An important part of this self-awareness is learning to effectively deal with negative stereotypes and misunderstandings. The following comments were part of an online discussion about assumptions regarding people with disabilities, the topic for our next discussion in our e-community. They may provide you with valuable insights as you participate in our discussion.

• Having cerebral palsy, I find almost everyone assumes that I am mentally disabled, too. I get annoyed with this. For a long time, I yearned to "fit in." But young people today want to stand out by coloring their hair and by wearing the "in" thing. I realize that I'm already there, and I accept my uniqueness. (adult with cerebral palsy)
• People make a lot of false assumptions about the disabled. For example, they assume that just because I am blind I am not able to get around on my own. Someone will get hold of me and I don't have any idea who they are or where they are taking me. They assume that I don't know where I am going just because I can't see. (college student who is blind)
• I like to assume that people are just trying to help. People, for instance, tell me when it is OK to cross the street. Some may think I can't do it without their help. Others may just think that they might as well tell me the light is green since they happen to be there. This is like when someone helps someone else carry heavy shopping bags up the steps—not because they think the other person can't do it, but just because they want to help. (adult who is blind)
• I choose what people I want to take the time to explain my disability to. I communicate with an electronic device, so it would take all of my energy to explain it to everyone who looks cross-eyed at me. (adult with a mobility and speech impairment)
• Human nature is to fear what you do not understand. This fear affects the way we are treated. My disability is Tourette's Syndrome, as well as some symptoms of various other disorders, including coordination problems. People assume that since I obsess and make facial movements and sounds that they consider strange, I am some sort of a freak of nature that must be avoided. Once people get to know me, they overcome these hang-ups. (high school student with Tourette's Syndrome)
• A professor once told me that I probably couldn't see the board very well from where I was sitting. Frankly, I can't see the board from wherever I sit. (adult who is blind)
• When people talk down to me, I usually ask some rather extreme question like "Do you think I am brain-dead?" Most people say that this is not a very good response. However, I think it is the way to go. (college student who is blind)
• Last year, I went on a cruise. One night, I went up on deck to write in my journal. A couple walked by and sat next to me. The husband asked, "Is this English?" pointing to my chicken scratches. I said "Yes!" He looked at his wife and whispered, "Mentally retarded." Instead of getting mad, I started to talk to him and his wife. He and his wife were from the Bay Area. I told him I was from the Bay Area as well and working for Intel. I think they got the message that the label they put on me wasn't true. (adult with Cerebral Palsy)
• I read lips and wear hearing aids. Sometimes people exaggerate their lip movements to the point where I can't understand them at all. Or sometimes they speak so slowly I fall asleep! Also, sometimes when I go tell someone that I'm deaf, they start signing to me. I'm sign language illiterate so that doesn't do me much good. But people are proud of their sign language skills, so I'm mostly amused and gently tell them thanks, but they just need to talk in their accustomed way and I'll understand them just fine—most of the time. But if a man has a droopy mustache, heaven help me! (adult with hearing impairment)
• The more people have positive interactions with a person with a disability, the higher the likelihood that they will forget that they are a person with a disability and think of them as a person first. (graduate student with a hearing impairment)

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Subject: Dealing with incorrect assumptions

Successful people accept their disabilities as one aspect of who they are. They do not deny the existence of limitations, but they also do not allow their disabilities to define who they are. An important part of this self-awareness is learning to effectively deal with negative stereotypes and misunderstandings related to their disabilities.

What is an assumption someone made about you because of your disability that was untrue? How did you feel? How did you handle the situation? Would you handle the situation in the same way if it happened again? If not, how would you handle it?

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Subject: Describing your disability

Self-knowledge can be reflected in how you describe yourself. For example, the way you describe your disability may suggest that you consider yourself strong and resilient, helpless and worthless, passive and dependent, or creative and productive.

During a rainy afternoon in a small lounge in McCarty Hall at the University of Washington, a group of high school students with disabilities viewed a collection of videos about people with disabilities. Their job was to come up with guidelines for context, style, and format for a new video on computer technology for people with disabilities. After showing one program that featured a boy riding a horse who used crutches to walk, a young woman who is blind suggested:

I think we should make a list of words that we will never use in a DO-IT video. "Special," "heartwarming," and "inspirational" go to the top of the list. Why are kids with disabilities any more or less "special" than other kids? And why did the announcer say it was "inspirational" to see a kid with a disability ride a horse when we assume other kids ride horses just to have fun?

What words do you prefer not be used in describing your disability or people with disabilities as a group?

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Subject: Dealing with rude people

You can't prevent people, with or without disabilities, from being rude. But you do have control of how you respond. You can develop a positive way of thinking about and dealing with the inevitable situations where you are labeled in a negative way. You can learn to separate your knowledge of the truth about yourself from the way you are described by others. In the following statements, individuals with disabilities articulate how these strategies play out in their lives.

• Yes, it's not nice when someone walks up to you and says, bluntly, "Hey, what's wrong with you?" But remember that this person is curious. My experience has been that if you tell them about your disability, they are sometimes actually interested....If you educate one person about your disability, dispel one rumor, isn't it worth the anger at the bluntness of the question?
• It is not impossible, but it is difficult to teach people to be more sensitive and understanding to how we feel when they give us different labels.
• I don't blame anybody if they don't treat me the way I want to be treated, because I know that they are not in my shoes. They can't see or feel what I see or feel, because they don't experience what I do, and this is their disability. I have so many goals to achieve and dreams to seize, I have no time to stop and hear what they think I am. What they think of me is none of my business.

Others may view you differently than what you know to be true about yourself. The ability to know and value yourself even when others suggest otherwise is key to leading a successful life.

If someone describes you or your disability in a way that you do not like, what are some positive ways to handle the situation?

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Subject: Thinking about language

An interesting online conversation about labels emerged within a group of young people and adults with hearing impairments.

• As a hearing-impaired individual, I always found it uncomfortable when people would say I'm "deaf." I prefer "hard of hearing" or "hearing-impaired" over "deaf."
• I used to say I was "hard of hearing" and hated to be called "deaf." After losing more hearing, I became legally deaf. Even though I can talk and sing (badly), I am deaf.
• I prefer the term "hearing impaired" because people don't react as badly as they do when the term "deaf" is used. When I tell someone I'm deaf, they act as though I can't communicate at all. But if I say I'm hearing impaired, people think I can communicate, but I just have some trouble. Some people associate the word "deaf" with being dumb, even if they don't mean to.
• "Deaf" simplifies things for me. The only problem that I've encountered over this terminology is that somebody heard me wrong and told another person that I was "death!"
• I became deaf as an adult and in the process went through a period when I was "hard of hearing," meaning if I really concentrated I could still get information from sounds. Then I became totally deaf and now rely completely on my vision and other senses for all my information. I am "deaf" and feel that gives a clear picture of me and how to communicate with me (i.e., no matter how loud you speak, I am still deaf....GRIN!)....The problem I have with the term "hearing impaired" is that it implies that hearing is still there and if we work hard enough it might kick in....It also labels me impaired, which "I ain't." I'm just deaf. The hearing isn't impaired either. It just isn't there.
• I sometimes forget I am deaf because the silence has become so "normal," and on those days I am startled to be labeled.

How do you like people to describe your disability? If wording is important to you, what can you do to let others know?

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Subject: Responding to labels

Read the following email discussion between people with disabilities.

• Does anybody find that people who aren't disabled spend way too much time thinking up new terms to call "us?" In the '70s and earlier most of us were called "cripples." That seemed a little too cold, so throughout the '80s we were called "handicapped" or "disabled." But now we've gained the phrase "physically challenged." Do you guys feel any different when any of these names are used?
• When someone says, "What disease do YOU have?" it hurts like hell, no matter how much self-worth I have.
• No, it doesn't hurt or change anything when I'm called "handicapped," "physically challenged," or "disabled."
• I hate the word "cripple." I also don't like the word "normal" when it is used to describe people who don't have disabilities. Does this mean "abnormal" is the opposite of "normal?" I never thought of myself as "abnormal"—disabled, malfunctioning, or handicapped perhaps, but never "abnormal."
• An insight that people who get carried away with labeling need to catch is that we are all disabled, whether our disability is being hair growth impaired, having a crippled tolerance perspective, or just being blind to the feelings of fellow travelers.
• I believe everybody has a disability of one type or another. I'm right in there with everybody else. Look for people's strengths, not their weaknesses.
• I think that as with any minority group, there is an unfortunate tendency to assume that all disabled people are like the one or few that an outsider knows. Examples I have faced include assumptions that I must be cold, tired, incapable of comprehending, starved for touching (usually results in a pat on the head), uninterested in athletic events in which I cannot compete myself, destined for an early grave, financially needy, desirous of being approached by strangers, without appreciation of humor....I could go on ad nauseam.

How do different labels for your disability affect or not affect you?

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Subject: Building on strengths

Just like everyone else's, your life is a unique mix of strengths and challenges, abilities and disabilities. It is important to regularly take inventory of your strengths and limitations as you pursue a self-determined life. Then you can develop strategies for success that build on your strengths in your weaker areas, and develop strategies to minimize their impact.

What is one of your strengths and one of your challenges in completing schoolwork? Do you have an eye for good design? An excellent memory? A passion for history? Are you challenged by mathematics? Uninterested in business? Unable to manipulate small objects?

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Subject: Redefining limitations as strengths

Determining your strengths and limitations is not as black-and-white as it sounds. Sometimes, as noted by one teen who is a wheelchair user and quoted below, what others consider a weakness in your life you can actually choose to redefine as a strength.

A characteristic I think is a strength is my ability to worry a lot. Some consider this a weakness. I do in fact worry a lot. I worry about something that I hear about or see or even read about. Then it sometimes comes out as a big issue that I and others around me can address together as a group. Worrying about something is like saying that you care about what the outcome of a certain situation could be.

Describe a characteristic that you have that could be considered a weakness by some people but, looked at another way, could be considered a strength in school or employment.

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Subject: Exploring learning strengths and challenges

Everyone has learning strengths and challenges; each person learns best in a unique way. Think about how you would complete the following sentences, considering factors that relate to you, your teacher, and your environment.

• I learn best when I ...
  I have difficulty learning when I ...
  An example of what I can do to help myself learn is ...
• I learn best when my teacher ...
  I have difficulty learning when my teacher ...
  An example of what I can do to help my teacher help me learn is ...
• I learn best in an environment where ...
  I have difficulty learning in an environment where ...
  ​An example of how I can create a positive learning environment for myself is ...

Think about your level of strength regarding the following characteristics.

• paying attention
• processing/understanding what I read
• processing/understanding what I hear
• remembering things
• expressing myself in writing
• expressing myself by speaking
• showing what I know
• physical strength
• ability to manipulate objects
• visual ability
• hearing ability

What is one of these characteristics that you consider a limitation of yours? How can you minimize its impact or even turn it into a strength?

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Subject: Taking inventory of your learning style

One aspect of who you are is your basic learning style. Knowing your learning style can help you understand yourself and how you can succeed.

Access the following website to explore your learning style:

www.metamath.com/multiple/multiple_choice_questions.html

What were the results? Do you agree with them? Why or why not?

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Subject: Finding careers that use your skills

Access the website at

online.onetcenter.org

Select "Skills Search," and complete the skills inventory by choosing skills you want to be part of your future career. Read the results.

Research two occupations suggested in the results of the skills inventory. Consider how interested you are in pursuing these fields. Find out what skills and personality traits of yours will help you pursue these occupations. Think about what challenges you might face.

Tell us one thing you learned from completing the activity about careers that suit you.

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Subject: Matching skills with careers

The Internet provides a rich collection of resources to prepare for a career. To match your skills with possible careers, access the website at

CareerWise

Rate how important it is for you to use specific skills in your future career.

Tell us what occupations were suggested as good matches for you. Do you agree? Why or why not?

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Subject: Identifying your career interests and work style

Imagine going to work each day and saying "I want to" instead of "I have to." This can happen if your job matches your interests and work style. The Princeton Review Quiz will help you find out what these are.

Access the website at

www.princetonreview.com/cte/quiz

Select "Take the Princeton Review Quiz." Read each pair of statements, and select the one that most describes you. As you make choices, assume all jobs are of equal pay and prestige. Click "CONTINUE" after each page.

The results will give you a short description of your career interests and work style. Do these descriptions seem accurate to you? Why or why not?

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Subject: Healthy self-esteem

"Self-esteem" refers to judgements about yourself. If you don't like yourself very much and feel like most of your actions are stupid, you have low self-esteem; being teased and criticized a lot may contribute to poor self-esteem. If you think you are better than other people and are considered conceited, your self-esteem may be too high; you may feel that any time something goes wrong it must be someone else's fault. If you basically like yourself and you consider yourself to have a fairly typical mix of strengths and limitations, you probably have pretty healthy self-esteem.

What advice would you give to a friend who has poor self-esteem, in part because they are teased by other students?

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Subject: Valuing yourself

Think about how the following advice from young people and adults who have disabilities does or does not apply to your life. Then share advice you have for members of our e-community.

• Always remember that it's OK to be unusual.
• Don't be afraid to express and stand up for what you believe just because it may be different from everyone else's beliefs.
• Trust in who you are. No one can take that from you. If you don't stand up for yourself, you'll get trampled.
• Learn to think for yourself and not follow the "herd." Be tough; be assertive; do not get discouraged. Accept life as it is, NOT as you would like it to be.
• Live in the world of reality, but allow yourself moments of meditation and reflection on the nature of things. Whenever possible, enjoy good music, good food, good companionship.
• Remind yourself that every life makes a difference. Make as large a difference as you can.
• Do not think of yourself as more "special" than other people. You may have a few more hurdles, and higher hurdles, to deal with than others, but life is learning to clear the hurdles no matter what they are. If you want something, earn it like everybody else.
• Never, never (did I say never?) use your disability as an excuse for not doing something. Remember, there is a whole world out there ready and willing to make excuses for you, and if you yourself make an excuse, others will happily accept the excuse. But every time such an excuse is given and accepted, you've limited what those around you will be prepared to let you do.

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Subject: Learning to value yourself

To be a self-determined adult, you must understand and value yourself.

How could you help a younger child learn to value himself?

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Subject: Affirming Self-Value

Some positive statements of successful people who value themselves are listed below. Read each statement and think about your level of agreement about whether it applies to you.

• I take good care of myself physically.
• I take good care of myself emotionally.
• I admire the strengths that come from my uniqueness.
• I accept myself.
• I have high self-esteem.
• I have dignity and self-respect.
• I have a sense of purpose in my life.
• I trust my own judgment.
• I make a positive contribution to my family, school, and community.
• I feel comfortable around people with different characteristics.
• I respect other people.

Describe yourself (age, interests, personality traits, abilities and disabilities) using only affirmative (positive) statements, with a focus on qualities you like and/or value about yourself.

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Subject: Affirming success

Some affirmations (positive statements) from successful people with disabilities are listed below. Read each statement and think about whether it applies to you now.

• I know what success means to me.
• I use my own definition of success to measure my achievements.
• I can achieve success.
• I am self-determined.
• I have a positive attitude.
• I have a sense of purpose in my life.
• I have a sense of humor.
• I have control over the most important aspects of my life.
• I can make friends, and I value my friendships.
• I am sensitive to the needs of others.

Select one of these statements. Tell us what you can do and how others could help you make this statement stronger in your life.

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Subject: Mentoring tips on self-advocacy

One skill for success is self-advocacy. Being able to self-advocate requires that people become experts on their disabilities, know what specific services and help they need, and use strategies to obtain this support. Their lives should not be defined by the assumptions and decisions of others.

Following are statements from individuals with disabilities about taking control of their lives. They can provide insights into mentoring young people to become better self-advocates.

• If a student does not speak up in school when she needs help because she cannot see the blackboard or she cannot read the book in front of her, she will fall behind in her schoolwork and have trouble achieving her goals. Disabled individuals need to remember that people are not psychic; if they have a problem and they do not tell anyone, nobody is going to magically figure out what the problem is. The more vocal you are, the more willing people are going to be in helping you. (college student who is blind)
• When I was in high school, I would talk to my teachers individually each year to describe my needs to them. The teachers found this to be extremely helpful to them, and I found it helpful as well. When teachers or professors know a student's needs and what they can do to help a student excel, it makes everyone feel secure. (college student who is blind)
• There is a difference between being the recipient of an act ("victimized") and allowing yourself to become overly affected by that act (to become a "victim"). (adult with mobility impairment)
• We don't have to be "victims" of other people's assumptions. We are only victims if we choose not to take charge of a situation. If you are blind and someone grabs your arm and pushes you across the street and you don't say anything but would like to, then you are letting the other person force the result of his assumptions on you. If you, on the other hand, say either, "Thank you, but I'll be fine" or "Let me take your arm," depending on what you would like to do, then you are taking charge and aren't a victim. (adult who is blind)
• I agree with others about taking charge so that we are not "victimized" by other people's assumptions. When [a blind person] tells a bystander, "Thanks, but I don't need your help," the bystander learns (we hope!) that people with visual impairments don't always need help. And when I ask the airline staff at the gate to tell me what someone has just announced over the public address system (which I can't lip-read, unfortunately), the airline staff person learns (again we hope!) that deaf people are capable of asking for help when they need it. So by being assertive, we lead people to look at their perceptions of us and even change them from inaccurate ones to more accurate ones. (adult who is deaf)
• The more often I express my needs and preferences, the easier it becomes. The easier it becomes, the more comfortable I am, and that makes people more comfortable, and on and on and on. And somewhere in the midst of this is also the need to be both polite and clear. (adult who is deaf)
• The way to preempt or erase assumptions is to tell people what you need rather than let them "act out" what they think you need. It is okay to say what you need help with. I think that is part of being independent. (adult who is blind)
• Just by going about your normal business, you also show people what you don't need help with. After all, we all make assumptions, and even if a person has met someone with your disability, that other person may have had different abilities and needs than you do. For instance, people always assume that I access a computer using speech output, but I use a Braille display. The point is that communicating your needs is the best way to make everybody comfortable. (adult who is blind)
• Tell people what you can do. Until a while ago, people doubted my wanting to work with games and graphics. I have a vision problem but so what. I'll give it a try, and if I can't then I can't. It's worked quite well so far. Like this semester I wanted to take an art class. My instructor had no past experience with someone visually impaired. I guess you don't see low vision students enrolling in a drawing class too often, but I love the class and am doing fine. (college student with a visual impairment)
• Some people feel that because you have a disability you can't do normal tasks by yourself. I've even had people ask me if I wanted them to open my soda can for me. I think the best thing to do is to be assertive when people do something, or want to do something, for you that you feel you can do for yourself. I think people are just trying to be helpful and that they don't know for sure how much help, if any, they should give. (high school student who is blind)

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Subject: Mentoring tips on goals

You can help young people set and reach goals. Advice from successful people with disabilities about working with teens includes the following:

• Keep your goals small to begin with, but as you grow in self-confidence, try to raise your expectations. There's no limit in the word "ability." (college student with mobility and speech impairments)
• I don't aim too high and I don't aim too low. If I feel I can do it, I go for it. I get stressed out a lot, but what's life without stress? No life at all. If I get out there and believe in myself, then nothing will stop me from doing my best! (college student with mobility and speech impairments)
• As someone who reads a lot and considers herself to be well informed, I have never come across the MAGIC answer. I read many books that offer ideas, strategies, and solutions, but none of them will work for everyone. I do encourage adults and young people to also read. Sometimes reading that one important book (like this one) is the critical factor in turning around a negative attitude. I also think giving young people a menu or toolbox to select options from is better than pushing ONE singular way to be successful. So give them many strategies, and let them use the strategies that suit them best. (adult with mobility and hearing impairments)
• I think adults have an essential role for young people in letting them know that they are not alone and that adults have been through what they are now going through—as a young person one can often feel immensely alone and isolated even with lots of people around. Disability can intensify feelings of differences and isolation. Be around and be available to help young people make choices of strategies, make mistakes, learn from them, and be successful. (adult with mobility and hearing impairments)

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Subject: Mentoring tips on short- and long-term goals

You can begin to help young people with disabilities by asking:

• How can I help young people develop short-term goals that will lead to reaching longer-term goals?
• How can I help young people identify specific steps to reach a goal?
• How can I help young people develop effective strategies and skills for reaching goals?

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Subject: Making informed decisions

Making decisions is an important part of becoming an adult. To make good decisions, you need to understand the problem and know what options are available and the consequences of each.

Here are steps you can follow to make an informed decision:

1. Determine what the problem is.
2. Determine what information you need, and use personal and information resources to get it.
3. Determine what choices you have and the consequences, advantages, and disadvantages of each action.
4. Make a decision.
5. Take action.
6. Evaluate your decision according to results.
7. Adjust your decision or next steps as needed.

What are some of the things you need to know in order to make an informed decision about what colleges to apply to?

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Subject: Mentoring tips on rights and responsibilities

A "right" is something you are entitled to. A "responsibility" is something you are expected to do. As young people mature, they need to take increasing levels of responsibility. Knowledge of their rights and responsibilities, as well as those of others, will help them make plans that will lead to success. Below are comments of successful young people and adults with disabilities about taking responsibility. Let's see how the reactions of participants in our electronic community compare with these.

• I accept responsibility for my own actions, decisions, and feelings. Taking responsibility makes me feel that I have control over what is happening. I obtained this trait from my parents and by realizing that it generally makes me feel good when I accept and take responsibility. (Ph.D. candidate who is blind)
• I accept and take responsibility for myself. My mother and teachers have helped me to see that this skill is important. I have come to realize that a person must be responsible in order to succeed in life. (college student who is blind)
• I think that when a person finally realizes that he can't get around his disability and that he might as well make the best of things is when he truly begins to take responsibility for himself. I know that might sound pretty harsh, but from my experiences it's true. My mother is the one person who has helped me see this. She has been my supporter and advocate throughout my life, but she never let me think that it was not my problem. (high school student with a learning disability)

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Subject: Knowing your rights and responsibilities in college

A "right" is something you are entitled to. A "responsibility" is something you are expected to do. As you get older, you need to take increasing levels of responsibility. Knowledge of your rights and responsibilities, as well as those of others, will help you make plans that will lead to success.

The responsibilities of postsecondary institutions are somewhat different from those of precollege schools in the United States. In elementary and secondary educational systems, schools are required to provide a free and appropriate public education to each child with a disability. Postsecondary institutions are required to provide reasonable accommodations for individuals with disabilities who are qualified to participate in their programs.

In college you have a right to reasonable disability-related accommodations. However, it is your responsibility to provide appropriate documentation and request accommodations.

Read the publication Students with Disabilities Preparing for Postsecondary Education: Know your Rights and Responsibilities.

What did you learn?

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Subject: Securing accommodations in college

Students with disabilities have a right to reasonable accommodations in college. Review the Accommodations website to explore typical accommodations institutions provide for students with different types of disabilities.

What types of accommodations might you need in college? When should you make the request for accommodations and to whom?

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Subject: Developing study habits

In order to achieve academic success, it is important to develop good study habits. Even students who did not need to study a lot in high school will find that they need good study habits in college. Here is what one successful person with hearing and mobility impairments reports:

I could never achieve anything without writing things down. Sometimes I use a calendar, sometimes a blank sheet of paper in my notebook, and sometimes the computer. I use a prioritization process. I write out everything that I need to do. Then I mark the things that MUST get done today or tomorrow as opposed to later, and I prioritize in order of importance. I get a lot of satisfaction crossing off accomplished steps. It also helps to break down larger tasks into smaller ones. I make lists, plan how to do the things on the lists, and then use the lists to motivate me to get things done.

Read the following suggestions for good study habits and tell us what you would add to the list.

• Write a daily "to do" list.
• Get organized by keeping a calendar that schedules work to be done and deadlines.
• Break large projects into smaller tasks.
• Study at high-energy times of the day.
• Schedule uninterrupted study time each day.
• Find your best study places.
• Study in short segments throughout the day.
• Find ways to revitalize yourself—exercise, dance, sleep, healthy snacks.
• Create a support system of fellow students; study together or be available by phone and/or email.
• Reward yourself for developing successful habits, such as allowing time to play a favorite computer game.

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Subject: Creating win-win solutions

Although not all issues are negotiable, many conflicts can be solved so that both parties "win" something they want. The following steps can be taken in order to reach a win-win resolution.

1. You ask the other person to say what they think and how they feel about the issue. Actively listen to make sure you are understanding the other person's point of view.
2. You use assertive communication and "I" statements; tell how you think and feel about the issue.
3. Each person thinks about ways to solve the problem so that both people "win."
4. Both people state ideas for solving the problem.
5. Together, the two people find a solution that is agreeable to both and make plans to implement it. (Field & Hoffman, 1996, p. 180-181)

Describe a situation you have experienced where a problem or conflict between you and a parent, sibling, teacher, or friend was resolved in a win-win conclusion.

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Subject: Changing advocacy roles

When you are young, adults in your life advocate for you. As explained by a college student with a hearing impairment:

My mom had a meeting with the Board of Education about the options that were available for placing me in an education program. The board suggested to my mother that I be placed in the local special education program. She did not agree with the board and decided to fight against placing me in a program that was geared toward developmentally delayed children. The board's rationale for their decision was that they did not have the funds to send me thirty miles away to the school where there was an appropriate early intervention/deaf education program. My mom began researching the laws related to education services for children with special needs, and that's when she found out about PL 94-142. She used this law to force the Board of Education to allow me to take a bus to the school where appropriate services were available. My mother taught me how to stand up for what I deserved.

As you become an adult, you learn to advocate for yourself. The same student says,

I learned to stand up for myself. [My mother] made sure that I was given the opportunities that were needed to allow me to grow and develop to my maximum potential. After that, it was up to me to fight for what I needed. [She] taught me how to be independent and to take matters into my own hands. I learned to be my own self-advocate at a young age, and I think a combination of that with self-esteem and confidence allowed me to excel to the level that I'm at today.

Give an example in your life of others advocating for you and one of you self-advocating. Share one thing you can do to become better at self-advocacy.

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Subject: Self-advocating

It is critical to your success to be good at self-advocacy. This means that you:

• are able to determine what you need
• know who can help you get what you need
• are skilled at asking for what you need

Suggest how family members, mentors, teachers, and friends can help you become a better self-advocate.

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Subject: Self-advocating with teachers

In high school your parents or guardians, teachers, and counselors work together and with you to make sure you have the disability-related accommodations you need. In college and employment, you need to advocate for yourself.

Sometimes teachers have a hard time understanding how they might best work with you so that you will be successful in their classes. You are the best person to explain this to them, but you may need some practice. One way to help teachers understand your learning styles, abilities, and disabilities is to meet with them or write a letter of introduction to give to them at the beginning of the year.

What would be important to tell your teacher about your interests, strengths, and challenges and about how they can best work with you so that you can be successful in the class?

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Subject: Disclosing your disability in college

In college you need to disclose your disability and provide appropriate documentation to the disabled student services office. Staff in this office facilitate accommodations in specific classes. However, it is also important to be able to effectively communicate directly with your instructor about your accommodation needs. It is best to meet with the instructor before a class begins. This may be awkward or difficult for you, so it is good to practice.

Draft a script of what you might say to an instructor before class begins. Introduce yourself, describe your disability, share what you do to be successful, and request an accommodation (if you don't anticipate needing one, say something that indicates this and express that you wanted to introduce yourself in the event that an accommodation might be necessary later on in the course).

You can practice self-disclosure of your disability with an adult pretending to be the instructor. Begin by introducing yourself, telling the instructor what class you are in (an example would be "Hi, my name is Sarah Parker. I'm in your Chemistry 101 class. I have dyslexia, a learning disability. I am a very slow reader."). Then demonstrate how you will do your part, describing at least one strategy that you use for success. Be sure it is related to a challenge that you just mentioned. (In the example above, you said you are a slow reader, so a good response would be "I allow extra time in the evenings or on the weekends to complete reading assignments" or "I use a computer with speech output to help me read" or "I take fewer classes to make sure I have enough time to complete my work.") Finally, ask the instructor for an accommodation, and indicate who will do what. ("I will need extended time on tests. Here is a letter from the disabled student services office that explains my disability and accommodation needs and gives a phone number you can call if you have questions.") With this approach, the instructor has the information needed and understands that you will do your part in achieving success in the class.

What are the most important things that you would tell a college professor about yourself?

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Subject: Disclosing your disability to an employer

Deciding if and when to disclose your disability when you apply for and participate in employment is a critical decision that can contribute to or interfere with your success. How you disclose your disability can impact your success in obtaining the accommodations you need.

Think of a job for which you might apply. Would you disclose your disability? Why or why not? If so, when and how would you disclose your disability?

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Subject: Advising a friend about disability disclosure

What advice would you give a friend with a disability that is not apparent regarding whether or not she should disclose her disability to an employer? If you recommend disclosing the disability, describe how and at what point in the employment process she should disclose.

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Subject: Being assertive

It's important to tell people what you think, but some ways are better than others.

• You can be aggressive; you yell at people and not listen to what they have to say.
• You can be passive; you avoid eye contact and talk like you are unsure of what you want.
• Or you can be assertive; you make eye contact when you talk, clearly state your wishes, and listen to the opinions of others.

Which approach do you think is most often successful—aggressive, passive, or assertive—and why?

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Subject: Securing job accommodations

The Job Accommodation Network is a national service to help employers and people with disabilities select reasonable accommodations. Access the Job Accommodation Network website at

janweb.icdi.wvu.edu

Select a disability related to your own. Identify at least one idea about accommodating your disability in a job setting.

If you apply for a job and are eventually hired, at what point do you think it best to ask for a needed disability-related accommodation? Before the interview? During the interview? Once you are offered the job but before you start work? On your first day of work? After trying to satisfy the job requirements without accommodation? Explain your response.

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Subject: Asking for accommodations at work

It's important to secure the accommodations you need at work in order to be successful. If you have been employed, share with the group your experiences in getting accommodations at work. What accommodations did you need and how did you get them?

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Subject: Standing up for convictions and beliefs

Taking charge of your life requires that you stand up for what you believe in. Listed below are insights from successful individuals with disabilities about standing up for their convictions and beliefs. Think about your level of agreement or disagreement with each of these statements.

• My grandmother, my mom, and my teachers have helped me stand up for my own convictions and beliefs. One fitting phrase my grandmother uses is "Dare to be different if different is right." (college student who is blind)
• If you want to work toward something, go out and work for it. People can argue the point all they want, but I still don't let them make up my mind. (college student who is blind)
• People with disabilities are no different in this case. I always got in trouble with my parents if I didn't stand up for what I believed. Even if they didn't agree with it. (college student with Tourette's syndrome, panic disorder, and epilepsy)

Describe an instance where you had to stand up for yourself, for someone else, or for a conviction. What made it important to take a stand and what was the result?

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Subject: Learning from mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, but some people handle them more positively than others. Successful people learn to cope with mistakes in a positive way. They often treat a mistake as a problem to be solved, not as a characteristic of the person who made it. They monitor and evaluate outcomes of their efforts and make adjustments as appropriate, sometimes changing goals, standards, strategies, or support.

Tell the group about a mistake you made and how you learned from it.

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Subject: Affirming success

Listed below are some affirmations of individuals with disabilities who have achieved success. Read each statement and think about whether it applies to you now.

• I have high expectations for myself.
• I set goals for myself.
• I can identify steps to reach my goals.
• I anticipate results.
• I am motivated to succeed.
• I like to do things myself.
• I like to learn new things.
• I work hard in school.
• I am creative.
• I have a sense of direction.
• I plan ahead and make choices carefully.

Tell us what you can do to make one of these statements stronger in your life within the next month. Tell how a parent, guardian, teacher, or someone else you know could help you make this statement stronger in your life.

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Subject: Surveying accessible technology

There are many types of assistive technology that allow people with disabilities to use computers. For a summary of approaches, consult Access to Technology: An Online Tutorial at www.washington.edu/doit/resources/popular-resource-collections/accessible-technology

What assistive technology do you use and/or would you like to use?

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Subject: Mentoring tips on promoting technology

The following statements are true.

• Computers can help students in school.
• Computer skills can lead to good jobs.
• Computers can be used to support personal interests and social life.
• Computers can help young people communicate with mentors.
• Increasing numbers of jobs require computer skills.

Below is specific advice from successful teens and adults with disabilities about encouraging young people with disabilities to use computers.

• The Internet is a valuable tool. Parents and teachers should do everything they can to provide access to the Internet to their students/children and then encourage them to use it. (college student who is blind)
• I would advise a parent or teacher to tell kids that computers are the future and if they don't know how to use one then they will get lost in the dust. (high school student with a learning disability)
• Being able to use a computer is a great skill to have today. Don't be afraid of computers! They won't bite. Kids with disabilities benefit extremely from access in their everyday academic lives. It is a tool that "levels the playing field." Computers and the Internet also promote social interactions. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• If you want to encourage a kid to use a computer, it is very important not to force them to do it. Everyone learns better when they are pursuing a personal interest. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• I would encourage students to join discussion lists that cover topics they are interested in. (young person with a mobility impairment)
• (1). Give your kids an early start at learning technology. They should at least understand word processing, email, World Wide Web, and even some spreadsheets and databases. (2). Teach them a wide variety of programs to increase their chances of getting jobs. (3). Give them the opportunities to do internships to practice using technology on the job. (college student who is blind)
• Experience, enjoy, and apply the concepts gained in everyday situations. (physics professor with a mobility impairment)
• Parents and teachers should make sure that disabled students have easy and frequent access to computers and that students know how to use their technology comfortably without much assistance. DO-IT is great for learning how to effectively use email and the Internet—today I'm still using a lot of things that I learned at the Summer Studies. (college student who is deaf)
• Let them work at their own pace. If they are totally for it the first time you ask them, great! However, if it takes a few times of urging them to use computers at school, just be patient with them. They will catch on sooner than you expect. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• Before you invest in a computer for a student, give him an opportunity to try out different types of technology. Let him pick out the hardware and software that works best for him. Don't make false assumptions! Just because a device works well for some doesn't mean it will work for all. Get a complete idea of what the student needs, and use all the resources you have to learn what is available. Let him get recommendations from others and try out different pieces of equipment. From that point, you and the student can decide what kind of technology works best. (college student who is blind)
• Email requires deaf individuals to really focus on developing English skills. Encourage students to always proofread their messages before sending them. Once you hit the send button, it's too late to go back and change something. (employee who is deaf)
• My advice to students with disabilities and their parents and teachers is that technology is not a nicety; it is a necessity. Get it, learn it, and use it. (college student who is blind)

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Subject: Mentoring tips on technology access

In school, technology can help level the playing field by giving students with disabilities opportunities to perform tasks independently and maximize efficiency. Below, people with disabilities share how computer technology has helped them achieve success in school. Here are some examples of how individuals with disabilities access technology.

• I use word processing programs to compose my assignments, and the spell check feature to make my writing as professional as possible. I'm a terrible speller. (college student with a brain injury)
• I use a computer every day to complete English and history assignments. I input them into a word processor via dictation software. This is because my spoken grammar is better than my written grammar. I am able to focus more on the learning and ideas, instead of the methods and mechanics. (high school student with dyslexia and attention deficit disorder)
• I use a computer with a speech synthesizer, screen reader software, a scanner and optical character recognition software, a Braille printer, Braille translator software, and Internet services. The technology has really helped me with my schooling. I can do my homework using a word processor; communicate with my family, teachers, and friends using email; scan printed documents using my scanner and optical character recognition software; and do online research using the Internet. (college student who is blind)
• The computer technology I use has a large monitor that makes it easier for me to read and edit my work while it is on the screen and avoid visual fatigue. The computer helps me write and edit my papers for school quickly. I can get information from the Internet for research papers. (college student who is visually impaired)
• I use a Braille 'n Speak™ (an electronic note taker with a Braille keyboard and speech output), with the disk drive accessory. I also use a computer with screen reader software, and a speech synthesizer. I use the Braille 'n Speak™ for taking notes, keeping track of appointments and things to do, a scientific calculator, and a notepad for small writing projects. I use the computer for writing reports, reading email, surfing the Internet, and putting the finishing touches on the above small writing projects. (college student who is blind)

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Subject: Mentoring tips on technology and success in school

Students with disabilities can use technology to help them independently and efficiently complete a variety of tasks. Below, people with disabilities share how computer technology has helped them achieve success in school.

• With computer technology, I am able to type most of my assignments instead of trying to write them. I'm left-handed and my left hand is considerably weaker than my right, making it difficult for me to write. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• I use the Internet to look up information on various subjects. (high school student with a psychological impairment)
• I can type faster than I can write papers for school. On the computer it is also easier to correct any mistakes. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• I use a computer every day to complete English and history assignments. I input them into a word processor via dictation software. This is because my spoken grammar is better than my written grammar. I am able to focus more on the learning and ideas, instead of the methods and mechanics. (high school student with dyslexia and attention deficit disorder)
• Email helps tremendously when doing group work and communicating with professors. (graduate student with a hearing impairment)
• Since I have a hearing impairment and cannot use a regular telephone, I don't know what I would do without email! Email is how I contact professors and the Disabled Student Services office at my college. Some of my professors have web pages, and I use those a lot to help me with classes. Some web pages have lecture outlines/notes for upcoming lectures, exam dates, sample questions from previous years' exams, and other valuable tools to help you succeed in class. (college student who is deaf)
• Electronic mail allows me to keep in contact with instructors if I am absent from class. (high school student with a learning disability)
• The computer is an invaluable tool when it comes to research. If I need to look something up for a term paper, I no longer need to go to the library; rather, I can obtain the information via the Internet. (high school student with dyslexia and attention deficit disorder)
• The Internet has been very useful in my college search. It has helped me find specific schools that have the programs I'm interested in. The Internet has also allowed me to stay in contact with the disability services coordinator at the school I'm planning to attend, which is out of state. (high school student with a learning disability)

As you interact with protégés, encourage them to use technology in school and share with them the addresses of interesting websites you find on the Internet.

Send this message to the e-community of protégés and mentors. The content is from enGauge 21st Century Skills: Literacy in the Digital Age, a report published in 2003 by North Central Regional Educational Laboratory and the Metiri Group.

Subject: Becoming digital-age literate

A report titled enGauge 21st Century Skills: Literacy in the Digital Age lists four sets of skills all people need to be successful in the 21st century.

• digital-age literacy
• inventive thinking
• effective communication
• high productivity

What do you think is meant by "digital-age literacy?" How will you make sure you have it?

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Subject: Using technology with young children

How would you advise parents, teachers, or friends of a child with a disability about the value of using technology and about what age children with disabilities should begin to use technology to maximize their capabilities?

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Subject: Using technology for success in school

Technology—computers, adaptive technology, the Internet—can help individuals with disabilities maximize their independence, productivity, and participation.

Describe what computer technology you use in school and what you use it for. What other technology, if available, would help you in school?

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Subject: Using technology to complete homework

An example of how a high school student was resourceful in using technology to help him complete a school assignment occurred in an electronic community. He posted the following message to a large group of peers: "Hi everyone. For an assignment in a class I am taking, I need to interview people on their definitions of love. I would appreciate any definitions from you for my paper. Thank you." Here are some of the responses he received.

• Love is unconditional acceptance of a person, in spite of any physical, emotional, or spiritual conditions they may have.
• Love is caring deeply and with a passion.
• Love is the one thing that everyone, in some manner, wishes to give and to have given to them. It is probably the topic which has received, across cultures, the most thought and effort to understand. How ironic then that it is probably the most elusive and difficult goal we will ever try to attain.
• Love is the quality of giving of one's life so that others' lives may be bettered—in other words, it's the way that we live as it relates to how we give (people just LOVE that rhyming stuff).
• It has a lot to do with giving and working with, as opposed to against, someone.
• I don't think that a person who has lost the capacity to love is human anymore.
• To keep your own thoughts and ideas out of the way when you are listening to another human being is the ultimate act of love. When you love, you feel free and unguarded with the other person. But before you can love, you must first risk. Makes life kind of tough, doesn't it?

Describe a creative way you have used or could use technology to help you in school.

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Subject: Using technology in science and engineering

Technology makes it possible for people with disabilities to engage in studies and careers that were at one time not accessible to them. Share examples of how modern technology has made it possible for people with disabilities to pursue these fields.

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Subject: Surfing the web to prepare for college

The Internet provides a rich collection of resources to prepare for college. The AccessCollege website links to many of them and provides a searchable knowledge base of frequently asked questions, case studies, and promising practices.

Access the DO-IT website.

Select "AccessCollege" and then "The Student Lounge" and explore the resources you find.

Tell the group one thing you learned about preparing for college at DO-IT's AccessCollege website.

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Subject: Using technology in your career

Computer technology is used in almost all career fields today. How will technical skills help you get and excel in a job in a field of interest to you? How can you get the skills you need?

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Subject: Using technology in careers

Computer technology can help you prepare for and succeed in careers. The following comments demonstrate the value of computers in the employment arena.

• I have a couple of mentors who have helped me along my career path, and they have saved me from making some mistakes that they made. The Internet is a valuable tool in locating and communicating with mentors in your career area. (high school student with mobility impairment)
• Computer technology has really helped me with my career preparation. I use online communication all the time to learn about job opportunities in different areas. For example, I can go to the employment department online and download information about technical support positions in my area. I can do so many things with online communication that can't be done over the phone. If I get hold of information I want to take with me somewhere, I can load it into a word processor, delete unnecessary text, and then translate the message into Braille for a quick reference. (college student who is blind)
• The technology has really helped me with my career goals. I have had several computer-based internships while still in college. My experiences helped me develop and apply my computer skills and made me decide to get a degree in computer applications so I can assist others with technical issues. (college student who is blind)
• I use a word processor, online communications, and other programs. Technology has helped me complete three successful internships where I used my online and word processing skills to do my work. For example, I just completed a summer work experience at the public library and I did a lot of online research. I even got the opportunity to train other staff members in how to use special technology. (college student who is blind)

What advice would you give to parents and teachers about encouraging students with disabilities to learn to use computers in preparation for their careers?

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Subject: Surfing the web to prepare for a career

The Internet provides a rich collection of resources to prepare for a career. The AccessCAREERS website links to many of them and provides a searchable knowledge base of frequently asked questions, case studies, and promising practices.

Access the DO-IT website.

Select "AccessCAREERS."

Select "Resources for Students."

Select "precollege students" or "college students," and explore the resources you find.

Select "Search knowledge base." Type in words about topics you would like to learn more about in the "enter search text" box. Select other items if you would like to focus your search, and then select "search."

Tell us one thing you learned about preparing for a career from your exploration of DO-IT's AccessCAREERS website.

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Subject: Using technology to enhance your social life

As a graduate student with a hearing impairment stated, "I think the most successful people with disabilities are those who have developed social skills that allow them to interact effectively with people who don't have disabilities. This includes educating their peers about their disabilities and getting others to understand that they are people first."

The Internet can help you cultivate positive social relationships. Speaking ability and speed of communication are unimportant when communicating via email. Spell check features improve the quality of writing for those whose disabilities impact writing ability.

Below, people with disabilities discuss how technology has helped them achieve a successful social life. Read each statement and see how it applies to you.

• The computer has become a real asset to my social life. Because of a voice impairment, it is sometimes difficult for me to communicate with people in person. However, with the advent of electronic mail, that is no longer an issue. Electronic mail allows me to communicate with friends without being hampered by my voice. Electronic mail also allows me to keep in contact with family members and friends who live out of state. (high school student with a speech impairment)
• I have made many, many friends over the Internet—more than I have in "real" life. This includes people who have the same interests as me and who do the same work as I want to get into. (young person with a mobility impairment)
• The Internet allows me to keep in touch with friends who live far away from me. I have received help from mentors through the 'Net. It is always great to have contact with people who can help you out with a problem or help you find what you are looking for. (college student who is blind)
• I can communicate with my mother and father without having to pay long-distance charges. I also use a financial program to keep track of my checking account charges. (adult with a visual impairment)
• I am deaf and I can't hear over the phone. I have to use a special machine and then call the operator. It takes a long time. When I use the computer to communicate, people don't even know that I am deaf. I just type the words. I like that. (high school student who is deaf)
• I receive help from a mentor via email and spread some wisdom of my own. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• I find it's difficult to make friends because people judge me before they know me. I'm quite shy, but to people who actually know me, I'm quite the 'hyper-hellion.' I think this has a lot to do with my disability, because it just turns into a label for me to wear. You try to explain your disability, which is part of you, and all you get back is sympathy. Making friends on the Internet allows me to escape my label. (high school student with a mobility impairment)

How has computer technology supported your social life and helped you give and receive help? For example, have you made friends on the Internet? Have you received help from a friend or mentor? Have you been a mentor to someone else?

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Subject: Affirming success with technology

Below are some statements by successful young people and adults with disabilities about using technology. Read each statement and think about how it applies to you.

• I use technology to help me with my school work.
• I use technology to help me prepare for a career.
• I use the Internet to maintain friendships.
• I use the Internet to communicate with adults who provide me with useful information and/or care about me personally.

How could you make better use of technology to help you succeed in school and/or work?

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Subject: Mentoring tips on actions to achieve goals

Below, people with disabilities share their thoughts about how caring adults like you can help young people with disabilities learn to take appropriate actions to achieve goals. Reflect on their thoughts as you mentor young people in our online community.

• The best way for anyone to teach anybody how to assert themselves is to let them do it. (college student with Tourette's syndrome, panic sisorder, and epilepsy)
• Keep a positive attitude about the kids' goals, and encourage them to meet those goals. When children don't meet them the first time, stay positive and make sure they know that it's not over and they should keep trying. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• Offer encouragement to kids, but let them sometimes fail to get their resiliency in shape before they are on their own in the real world. (college student who is blind)
• I think kids need to realize that everyone experiences failure....It's how you deal with failure that is important. (graduate student with a hearing impairment)
• Create goals that have built-in flexibility, and allow room for some trial and error. For example, when I decided to pursue a Ph.D., I developed a backup plan just in case it didn't work out. I find having a Plan A and a Plan B (and sometimes a plan C) really helps me adjust when one goal is unattainable. Knowing that I have something to fall back on relieves a lot of anxiety while I'm working toward my original goal. (graduate student with a hearing impairment)
• Help your child learn to never give up. (high school student with a brain injury)
• Remind them of times when they have accomplished something and how good it felt. And help them figure out a way to complete the task by suggesting alternate strategies or asking them to come up with alternate methods. (Ph.D. candidate who is blind)
• Don't get over-protective—and do not let the disability color every expectation. (computer scientist who is blind)
• Help kids set realistic (but not easy!) goals. Help children with disabilities learn to do things independently in order to gain self-confidence. (college student who is deaf)
• Be optimistic, never doubt abilities, be positive, and challenge kids. Focus on the positive aspects, and help them set goals THEY want. NEVER, EVER assume they can't do something. (college student with speech and mobility impairments)
• I think the attitude of family, parents and grandparents, is very important for how a child approaches life. My family always assumed I could do a lot of things, and I've done quite a few. Basically, parents need to support their child, push their child some without forcing the child to do things that are counter to their own dreams, be available for their child to talk to when setbacks occur, and so on. These attitudes need to be present especially in social things because failures there tend to be much more painful and difficult to overcome. (college graduate who is blind)
• Parents can help their kids accept responsibility by taking responsibility for their own actions. (Ph.D. candidate who is blind)
• Responsibilities must be given and consequences must be felt. If responsibility isn't given, a child never learns how to handle it. (college graduate who is blind)
• Always support and advocate for your child, but don't ever let them think that it is not their problem. Include them in meetings you have with teachers, doctors, and other people. That will teach them to advocate for themselves. (high school student with a learning disability)
• I think a good way to help kids accept criticism better is to always present positive feedback first....then bring in the constructive criticism. (graduate student with a hearing impairment)
• Encourage children to get out and meet people. They have to make themselves known. Opportunity is much more likely to knock if it knows the address. (college student who is blind)

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Subject: Working hard

Individuals with disabilities can expect at times to work harder to reach the same goals as their peers without disabilities. As reported by a successful high school student who is blind:

• I accepted the fact that I must work harder than other students to get the same grade. My grades started to grow gradually to an A average.

Learning to work hard can be an asset in life, as expressed by one successful high school student who is blind:

• Sometimes I think that all of us with disabilities have an advantage over those who have things come easier to them. Whatever it is we want, we have to want it and then work for it. That necessary desire promotes drive to accomplish, succeed, or achieve. Others around us may be content to float or do the minimum most of the time, but not us. For us, having what everybody else has is an accomplishment, and having tasted success we want to keep succeeding.

How would you explain to a child with a disability that they might have to work harder than other children to reach the same goals without making them feel discouraged?

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Subject: Coping with stress

Stress motivates you to do things. However, it can have a negative impact on your physical and emotional health if you do not cope with it well.

Describe a situation that is stressful for you at school and the strategies you use to cope with it.

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Subject: Being flexible

Some adversities in life are beyond your capacity to change no matter how hard you try or how motivated you may be. As pointed out by a college student who is blind:

• The tough part about being disabled and keeping a positive attitude is to realize that there are things that you want to do that you will probably never get to do. This can take a toll on the mind and damage the self-esteem and positive attitude. The big issue for me when I turned sixteen, and even now, was that I could not drive because of my visual disability.

Once you have set a goal, it is important to be flexible regarding possible modifications to the goal itself as well as finding a path to reach the goal. Below, a person who is blind describes a situation where he needed to be flexible when starting a new job.

• I have had to make a lot of adjustments while getting settled into my new job as a technical support specialist. This job requires a lot of flexibility as to when the employees work and when they have time off. In my case, I have had also to make certain adjustments regarding transportation and equipment. For example, I was going to take the train to a nearby station and then catch a bus to my work area. The problem is that the bus lets off on the wrong side of the building and I would have to walk through a loading dock where there are a lot of trucks parked. Having to get around all those vehicles would make it difficult to stay on the path. I would need help from a sighted person. Instead, I resorted to using a shuttle provided by the company. It picks me up at the rail station and drops me off at the building where I work.

Give an example of a situation where you should be flexible and one where you should not.

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Subject: Taking risks

Taking risks requires that we accept the fact that we might fail. However, as stated by one student who is blind, "Life is nothing without risk. Risks can help a person be successful in the long run." In an electronic discussion, individuals with disabilities shared their risk-taking experiences.

• One risk I took when I was younger involved driving my wheelchair down a steep hill. It was crazy, but I was a daredevil at the time. Well, it cost me a scratch on my cheek, but it was fun until I reached the bottom. I think it's okay to take a risk as long as it doesn't risk other peoples lives. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• This summer I took one of the biggest risks in my life. I was given the opportunity to attend two educational camps, a computer camp and a camp to learn about government. I was afraid to attend the camps because they were geared for nondisabled students. The computer camp was the biggest concern because of getting accessible books and computers. The risk paid off. I learned a lot from both camps and made friends to boot! (college student who is blind)
• A very big risk that I took was my work at a museum. I have very poor people skills. It's obvious to whomever comes in contact with me. I am also wobbly mentally and physically—mentally in that I am unsure of myself and physically in that I can topple at any moment. I had to face the risks of dealing with people and tripping on something and ruining a fragile exhibit every day. The initial job was for class credit. I took the added risk of extending my job over the summer. That added the worry of transportation. I am happy to say that despite these risks I did the job and I did it well. I gained friends, experience, and something to put on a resume. (college student with mobility and health impairments)
• I keep going when people tell me I can't. I am not afraid to try things and I don't give up. My parents took me everywhere and I did everything like a normal kid. I have a good friend from kindergarten who is able bodied and she knows me so well that we do all sorts of stuff that people might not think I could do, but we come up with a flexible plan and we do it. (high school student with mobility and speech impairments)

Describe an experience where you took a risk to achieve something you wanted. What was the outcome? What did you learn from the experience?

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Subject: Taking action

A group of successful individuals with disabilities offered the following advice to teens with disabilities about taking action to reach their goals. Read the list and then send a message to our group with a statement you would add to the list.

• Nothing worthwhile comes without risk. Without risk success cannot be achieved.
• Resiliency is key to success in life. Things will not always go the way you plan, but you have to bounce back from whatever difficulties you encounter and get back on track.
• Keep trying. Things don't always work out the first time around. Think of other options for achieving the same goal, or ask others (family members, friends, teachers, etc.) for ideas on how you can achieve your goal. Stretch yourself. Do things you never thought possible.
• Work at your own pace, keep positive, and you can do anything you set your mind to.
• Do not pity yourself for what cards you have been dealt. It happened....now move on.
• That moment of insecurity is worth the achievement in the end. It is important to keep that in mind throughout life.
• Keep on with life despite unfortunate responses from people. To let other people get you down and make you cease to be an active participant in your own life is to let them win. To live life passively is to deny one's full capability of existence. Parents and teachers can help, but this is something you have to find within.
• Be creative and flexible.
• It is important to develop networking skills. Almost anyone you meet can be a prospective resource. Learn how to make and capitalize on friendships and follow up. If you do use a person as a resource, call or send a letter to say thank you.
• DO IT........DON'T QUIT.

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Subject: Learning from experiences

Successful people learn from their experiences. Once an action is taken, they evaluate the outcome, and, regardless of whether the outcome is positive or negative, they ask what they can learn from the experience that will increase opportunities for success in the future. A few strategies that contribute to successful learning from experiences are the following:

• Reflect on the experience and take with you those things that can help you reach higher levels of success in the future.
• Compare the outcome of the experience with what you expected. If they are different, analyze why. What can you learn? How will you move forward?
• Compare your performance to your expected performance. If they are different, analyze why. How can you continue to improve your performance in similar activities?
• Celebrate success internally and externally.
• Learn from both successes and failures/setbacks.
• Make adjustments in order to increase your chances for success in the future.

Select one of the strategies listed above and tell about how you have applied it or can apply it in the future.

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Subject: Learning from work experiences

Every experience in life offers opportunities to learn. For example, students enrolled in internships, cooperative education, volunteer work, and other work-based learning programs gain valuable experiences that can help them obtain and succeed in future jobs. In an online discussion, people with a variety of disabilities discussed the value of work-based learning experiences that occurred while they were still in school. Part of their dialogue follows.

• I had a project my senior year of college where I built and maintained a website for my church. I'm still maintaining it even after college. It let me gain experience. It is important for ANY student to do this, and it is especially beneficial to people with disabilities because they sometimes need more help to overcome employers' biases.
• Employers want education and experience.
• Working has given me motivation to return to school and do it well this time. For four years I've been working entry-level positions, and I now have a better understanding of where I want to be in life and the "direction" that I want to take. I also feel that I have a better understanding of the job market and how things work in a highly corporate environment. I wish everyone could feel the motivation and excitement to learn what I have after four years of poverty and $5.50-an-hour jobs.
• Interpersonal skills, communication skills, and awareness of one's strengths and limits are just some benefits that can be gained through work-based experiences.
• I was an executive intern with a local meteorologist during my senior year in high school and then worked for two summers for the Assistant State Climatologist of Colorado. These experiences strengthened my desire to go into atmospheric science research. I also learned that connections can really help you get a job! And I practiced articulating my needs when necessary.
• I have some pretty strong viewpoints about work-based learning experiences. I did one last summer, and, even though it was frustrating, it taught me some lessons that I would not have learned otherwise. First of all, I learned that we need to be able to focus on more than one task at a time. Second, I learned that one can usually do something that one sets one's mind to.
• Work-based learning experiences give you a chance to practice and develop work skills that are not taught in the classroom (personal interaction with others, teamwork, learning how to take criticism, etc.).
• An internship gives students a chance to problem-solve how they will use or transfer an accommodation used in school to a work setting....in a nonthreatening environment. You learn what works for you, and you learn what doesn't work for you. You may have good experiences or bad experiences, but in my opinion....the bad experiences are sometimes more valuable than the good experiences. And it's fun!
• My senior year, I had an intern job at a local newspaper. My internship wasn't a paying one, but I got high school credit for it since I did it during school hours. If you get paid, great, extra cash won't hurt, but if not, it's still good to just have the experience.
• This year has been the first time I've been in a work-based learning opportunity. I was introduced into working in a corporate environment. I've learned to be more responsible and independent.

Describe a work experience you have had—paid or unpaid; long or short in length; at school, at home, at a company or job site—and tell what you learned from the experience.

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Subject: Understanding the value of work experiences

Work-based learning is an important part of a person's education. Below is a list of reasons why work experience is important. It was written by a successful person with a disability. Think about how what is said applies or does not apply to your life.

• It can help you figure out what you DON'T want to do. A lot of people go through their education with a romantic vision of what career they will pursue after graduation. They often picture themselves as prepared, having taken numerous courses within the occupation's subject area. They are often very disappointed. You may not always enjoy the "practice" as well as the "theory." I have met all sorts of people who hated their jobs but loved their major.
• It can help you determine which accommodations work best for you. The accommodations you use in school may not work at the work site. Your technology may not interface with the employer's. You need to become a master of your accommodations. Work-based learning gives you the opportunity to practice accommodating yourself....When you are applying for your "real job," you will know what accommodations you need, as well as where and how to get them.
• It offers a low-risk, nonthreatening opportunity to disclose your disability to an employer. Disclosure of disability can be a nerve-wracking process for both the student and the employer. Interviews for internships and other experiences can help you try out ways of talking about your disability.
• You can apply what you're learning in school to a real-world situation. This makes learning fun and offers a whole new perspective on the subject area.
• It enables you to learn and practice skills not learned in a typical classroom. You can sometimes get academic credit for it. You can sometimes get paid for it. You can network with potential future employers. You can prove to an employer who has never had an employee with a disability that you are capable, thus creating a future position for yourself or opening the door for a friend.
• You might have the opportunity to work with state-of-the-art equipment not available on campus. Employers want education AND experience. Just a degree simply won't cut it. If you want a job when you graduate, this is the best way to get experience in your field.

Why do you feel it is important to have work experience before completing school?

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Subject: Being resilient

"Resiliency" is the ability to bounce back and keep trying after failures or other difficult situations. Successful people are resilient. They don't let the small stuff get them down, and they don't give up when faced with setbacks, failures, or other difficulties. They learn from both success and failure. Below, successful young people and adults describe how events and people in their lives helped them learn to be resilient.

• Whenever as a child I told my parents that I could not do something, they reminded me that I could do it as long as I believed in my ability to do it, and they usually were right. If I did not succeed, my parents pointed out alternate methods for achieving the goal. Now, I am motivated to continue to try something as long as I can think of other options for completing the task at hand. When I run out of options, it is sometimes tempting to give up, but I have also learned that new options sometimes open up with time. (Ph.D. candidate who is blind)
• There have always been things I've wanted, and I couldn't get them if I didn't try again once I failed. That was true throughout school. In math, I had to do many things by slower methods than other kids used. For example, in precalculus they all had graphing calculators, but I couldn't use one. I did as much of the work as I could because I wanted to learn, I wanted good grades, and I wanted that class on my transcript for college. (college graduate who is blind)
• What helped me to be resilient was the need to survive. I didn't attend school until the fifth grade due to numerous surgeries. The first few days in the classroom at the age of eleven were a shock. The physically and mentally handicapped soon learn to ignore the slings and arrows of misfortune. I lead a very normal life despite a birth defect in the lower spine. The people in my life who toughened me included my mother, my uncle, a doctor, and, from time to time, an understanding, compassionate teacher in high school and college. (retired counselor with mobility impairment)
• I was motivated to reach for higher standards when I lost my sight four years ago. It made me try harder and forced me not to pity myself. My vision teacher pushed me to give it my all. He made me believe in my abilities and myself. He raised my self-esteem and pushed me into taking the specialized high school exam. Without him, I would not be in the position I am now. He played an integral part in my higher standards being reached. (college student who is blind)
• Joining and participating in the DO-IT program was probably the most helpful. They did more than just teach me about online communications, etc. They have also helped me solve problems that were college- and career-related. (college student who is blind)
• Say what you will about spite; it's a great emotion. My parents never believed in me (I'm sure that they'd say otherwise, but they would be lying). They don't trust me, and they really don't care what I do, so long as it meets their preconceived notions of who I am. So I decided to succeed, no matter what, just to spite them. (college student with mobility impairment)
• The primary source of any resilience in me is extreme hope for the future and a sense of mission. In this, my father played a large part. When he gets going, I doubt there is anyone capable of more passion and exuberance. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• Beginning with catechism and my mother's insistence on reading Bible stories to me and my brother, I fast developed a theological grounding for subsequent resilience. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• Adults taught me that life is full of obstacles and hurdles. Sometimes I make it over the hurdle the first time around, sometimes I don't. I learned to accept failure and to learn from my mistakes. I use what I learned to help me get over the hurdle the next time. I learned that failure is not always a bad thing. In fact, that's how we develop, by learning what works and what doesn't. (graduate student with a hearing impairment)
• One source of resilience, the joy of discovery, I inherited from both my parents. Early in my childhood I was continuously encouraged to learn. And as a quirk in their generally traditional parenting style, they never pressured me or my brother to achieve high grades in school. Thus I developed this joy intrinsically, from the inside out—something that is extremely important. (college student with a mobility impairment)

How have parents, siblings, friends, mentors, teachers, or other people in your life helped you (or NOT helped you) learn to be resilient?

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Subject: Affirming success

Some positive affirmations from successful people with disabilities are listed below. Read each statement and think about your level of agreement with it.

• I know my strengths and challenges.
• I know what is important to me.
• I know what I need versus what I prefer.
• I know what options I have.
• I am an independent thinker.
• I am optimistic about my future.
• I care about my school, my community, and other people.
• I act on my own convictions.
• I recognize and respect my rights and responsibilities.
• I can resist negative peer pressure.
• I am comfortable with my disability.
• I take my disability into account when I set goals and develop strategies, but I realize that it is only a small part of my identity.
• I can deal with the negative stereotypes of others in a constructive way.

Share with us an additional affirmation statement that is true about you now or that you would like to be true about yourself in the future.

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Subject: Mentoring tips on teen support

Adults can help young people lead self-determined lives by being sensitive to the language they use, by promoting positive relationships with adults and friends, by encouraging participation in activities, and by giving young people choices. The following story demonstrates the significant effect supportive adults can have on young people with disabilities.

Those adults who have contributed to my success tended to either create opportunities for further development for me or help me to pursue a certain activity by coming up with creative adaptations, by implementing my suggestions for adaptations, or simply by encouraging me. For example, throughout my childhood, two relatives of mine who functioned as grandmothers made an effort to let me touch everything interesting around their house, in their yard, and on walks and visits to other places. These experiences supplemented my exposure to plants, animals, sculptures, and many other things. On the academic side, my first- and second-grade teacher gave me extra work that furthered my education. She was great at responding to the individual needs of students. In contrast, my fifth grade math teacher asked me to just listen instead of participating in class when we went over a test on which I had received a high grade. This made me want to fail the next test, so that I would be allowed to participate in the class discussion. (I did not fail the next test, thanks in part to my parents' intervention). In graduate school, a professor teaching a class on reading and drawing weather maps suggested that I come to his office once a week so that he could discuss the material with me. He made it possible for me to succeed in this required class. (Ph.D. candidate who is blind)

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Subject: Mentoring tips on supportive environment

As we create a supportive environment for young people, consider the advice offered by successful individuals with disabilities.

• Many small steps equal a mile. Don't just recognize people's miles; celebrate each "step of success." (adult who is blind)
• Have patience. This will not be easy. You will have to learn a new language to communicate with teenagers. (high school student with dyslexia and attention deficit disorder)
• It is important for them to have someone to talk to about what is going on in their lives and to receive encouragement when they lose confidence in themselves. (college student who is blind)
• Don't create a relationship of excessive dependence. Teach all of your children to be independent from an early age. This will benefit them in their adult lives. (college student who is deaf)
• Don't be so adult that children can't connect with you. Be available to talk about any topic, and be willing to both be serious and have fun. (college graduate who is blind)
• Encourage children with disabilities to lead the most normal life possible. (retired counselor with mobility impairment)
• Teach them the skills required to participate in a career. (college student who is blind)
• Remind them of what they're capable of. Sometimes it's hard to see outside of yourself to know all of the possibilities. This is when feedback from respected people in one's life is critical....especially from mentors. (employee with a mobility impairment)
• Support their dreams. (young person with a mobility impairment)
• Help them get involved in their school. It can lead to new friendships and experiences. (college student who is blind)

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Subject: Mentoring tips on self-determination support

Adults can further or hinder self-determination in young people. They can help create environments for a child—in the home, in the classroom, and in the community—that nurture the development of self-determination skills. Adults can model self-determined behavior and interact with children in ways that promote self-determination. Reflecting upon the following questions may help guide you as you support young people with disabilities.

• How can you apply self-determination steps in your life? How can you best share your experiences with the young people with whom you interact?
• What current factors in the classroom, home, church, and community encourage or discourage young people from being self-determined? How can these environmental factors be adjusted to support the development of self-determination skills?
• How can you assure that young people with disabilities can fully participate in school, church, and community activities? How can you encourage them to do so?
• How can you provide opportunities for young people to contribute to their family, school, or religious community?
• How can you encourage young people to express their feelings? How can you be a better listener to assure a teenager that you understand what they are saying to you?
• How can you encourage young people to understand their own strengths and challenges?
• How can you encourage young people to set their own goals?
• How can you encourage young people to take action and accept the consequences of their actions?
• How can you help young people learn from the outcomes of their actions?
• How can you model communication patterns that support self-determination in the young people with whom you interact?
• How can you help a young person be actively involved in planning decisions as they transition to adulthood?
• What special programs could be put in place in your school, church, or community center to help young people, including those with disabilities, develop and apply self-determination skills?

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Subject: Mentoring tips on teen relationships with adults

Successful people often report that while they were growing up, they had positive, supportive relationships with a few adults—relatives, neighbors, teachers, church members, and other mentors. Successful young people and adults with disabilities made the following comments about the value—personal, social, spiritual, academic, and professional—of their positive relationships with adults. You'll hear more in my next message to the whole community. Think of what you can contribute to this conversation that would be beneficial to our younger participants.

• My mother has always encouraged me to do better in all aspects of my life. It doesn't matter whether it's academic, physical, or art. I am visually impaired, and I am also a great artist. I am thinking about starting an art magazine in my senior year of high school, and my mother backs me up one hundred percent. She sees that I have a vision problem, and she understands the difficulties I have. But she encourages me to do things even when it is hard. (high school student who has a visual impairment)
• Besides my parents, there have been two adults who influenced me personally, socially, and academically. They helped me overcome my disability and become who I am today. They transformed a reclusive person who didn't believe in himself into a driving, determined individual who is confident and who can handle adversity. The first of these adults I met in the beginning of eighth grade when I first lost my sight. He was a paraprofessional. A "para" is someone the Board of Education gives to students who need someone to help them with mobility and/or note taking. I needed someone to help me with both. When I first met him, I was nervous, apprehensive. I was just getting used to the fact that I had lost my sight. I was shy and reticent. Between class assignments he and I would talk about life and his experiences. He taught me a lot about people and how they can act. He became the brother I never had, someone I could trust. He left me a better person than I was when we first met. (high school student who has a visual impairment)
• My parents have always been encouraging. They never let me take the easy way out. Developing a positive relationship with an adult is important because as a kid, your knowledge and experience is limited. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• A couple of years ago I met a woman who has a little vision and is very interested in genetics. We first met because of these reasons. However, our relationship has since grown amazingly. We can talk about many things, commiserate, laugh, and just enjoy being with each other. She pushes me, too, but she also listens to me. She is no longer just a mentor but a good friend, and while I don't always agree with the things she says, I always think about them. (college graduate who is blind)
• When I was in third grade, I was just beginning to understand what my learning disability was and how it would impact my life. I was extremely frustrated academically because everything was so hard. I just did not get it. Sometimes I would think that I was just stupid. Having a special tutor was the best thing to happen to me then. She knew that I was intelligent and she showed me that. She not only helped me make a quantum leap academically, but she also discovered who the real me was. When I first came to her, I was sad, angry, and frustrated. From her I learned not only a sense of self and an academic confidence but also an MO (modus operandi) for life. Hard work does pay off. And yes, I will succeed. (high school student with Dyslexia and Attention Deficit Disorder)

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Subject: Developing relationships with adults

Successful people often report that while they were growing up, they had positive, supportive relationships with a few adults. These could be relatives, neighbors, teachers, church members, and other mentors. Successful people with disabilities made the following comments about the value—personal, social, spiritual, academic, and professional—of their positive relationships with adults.

• My aide in high school would not let me quit, and she pushed me into doing things that I thought I could not do, such as going on overnight trips, working on the computer, and being friendly to the other students in school. (college student with mobility and speech impairments)
• I remember an international business teacher who helped me "grow" in high school. He never ever quit believing in me. He said, "If you want it—make it happen." He believed in me, even when my parents doubted and other teachers were sort of distant. He never once downplayed my ability. With his "What do you want to do next?" questions he challenged me to push the envelope further. Believing in someone is the first step in helping them achieve their dreams. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• I grew up in a family of four kids, and my parents never gave me any slack just because I had a disability. I was doing all the same chores everyone else was doing (even if it was dragging the vacuum all around the house!). They always pushed the idea of self-pity out the door and never once felt sorry for me for anything! They treated me like everyone else, not like their "child with a disability." Because they treated me like everyone else, I strove to be like everyone else and to live up to the norms of what people my age were doing, whether it was singing in the choir, learning to drive, or swimming. (college student with a mobility impairment)
• I have had a very positive relationship with my orientation and mobility teacher for a very long period of my life. She taught me to work hard in school and to strive for the goals I set for myself. My grandmother has also been a positive influence in my life, as she has given me encouragement and has helped me adopt a religious faith at a young age. (college student who is blind)

How have relatives, neighbors, teachers, church members, mentors, or other caring adults helped (or NOT helped) you achieve success personally, socially, academically, or spiritually?

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Subject: Working with adults

Adults can help young people achieve success. However, it is a two-way street. The actions of young people can either help or hinder the ability of adults to help them. Statements of advice to teens from successful people with disabilities are listed below. Think about whether you agree or disagree with each statement.

• In dealing with your parents, try to look at both your point of view and your parents' point of view. I know that this is hard to do.
• Always stay calm in a disagreement. Impossible, right? Yes, but it's worth a try.
• If you and your parents get in a fight, wait until they cool off and then tell them that you still love them. Trust me, this works.
• Allow time to really see what the adults are like, and then, if you feel okay with them, go ahead and open up to them. The results may be better than you may think!
• Positive relationships with adults can provide you with encouragement and help you build confidence and self-esteem.

What advice would you give other teens about what THEY can do to develop positive relationships with adults?

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Subject: Participating in activities

Many adults who are successful participated in clubs, organizations, sports, or other activities in their schools and/or communities when they were teens. Below are examples of how young people stay involved in their communities.

• The primary activities I have been involved in have had to do with promotion of bike helmets. (high school student with brain injury)
• I am in my school's band and on our Youth Leadership Team. In the past, I was part of the speech team and the Student Council. Being a part of clubs has given me confidence and boosted my self-esteem. I enjoy music, and think it is an awesome feeling to be able to go out and be a part of my school's band to cheer on the sports teams and to contribute to a music concert. (college student who is blind)
• I have participated in flag corps/marching band, winterguard, High School/High Tech, and Beta Club. They have given me a chance to see what it is like to work with different kinds of people. (college student with a learning disability)
• I have been riding in the Little Bit Special Riders, a horseback riding program for disabled people, since I was four years old. In grade school I would always have something to share at show and tell that I was proud of. It was something I could do that not all of my friends could do, and they all thought it was so cool. I made a lot of friends, both disabled and not, that I have now known for a long time. (high school student with mobility and speech impairments)
• I am involved in the drama club at my school. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
• I have been involved in internships. They give me experiences that are needed for jobs. I've also been part of a city hall committee. This helps me know how professional life is. (college student with mobility and health impairments)
• I was involved in sports in high school—as a manager of the football team for four years and even lettering in the sport—and also I was on the wrestling team and lettered in that three years. I loved being a part of a team and supporting and being supported in working hard toward team and personal goals. I loved the camaraderie that the teams offered. (college student who has seizures)

Describe an activity you have been involved in and why it has been important in your life.

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Subject: Being a good friend

Friends can contribute to fun times and provide a boost when you're down. Positive relationships can enhance our health and well-being. What does being a friend mean to you? How can you be a better friend to others and to yourself?

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Subject: Mentoring tips on friendships

Successful individuals with disabilities have a lot to say about the importance of having a positive social life. However, they sometimes face challenges in developing friendships. For example, here is a comment from a student who is blind:

• Blind people face the particular challenge of not being able to walk up to someone with whom they would like to talk unless they hear their voice or the person introduces himself or herself. In the dining hall, for example, I always asked someone to help me find a seat, but that person would not necessarily know the people I liked to sit with, so it was a game of chance. Sometimes I met new people, sometimes I happened to sit next to good friends, and sometimes I was unable to join in the conversations around me. However, by making friends in certain interest groups and arranging to meet friends for a meal, I was able to keep in touch with the people I cared about.

Sometimes people with disabilities face attitudinal barriers, as pointed out by this student with a disability:

• My disability gets in the way of getting friendly with some students, but they weren't worth knowing anyway. The others, who accepted me as an equal, were the ones I stuck with.

However, most people with disabilities find the same enjoyment with an active social life as others. As another student wrote:

• Social life is imperative for your own sanity and for learning how to interact with people.

Reflect on these issues as we help teens in our e-community develop friendships.

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Subject: Developing friendships

Successful individuals with disabilities have a lot to say about the importance of having a positive social life. They value relationships with other people. Below, young people with a wide variety of disabilities share their opinions about the value of a positive social life in college. Think about your level of agreement or the relevance to your life.

• I can't stress enough the importance of at least trying to get out and be involved. It really doesn't matter in what—clubs, teams, friends, whatever. It won't be easy, but it's worth it.
• I found people to be a lot more open in college than in high school. I made most of my friends in classes, in the dining hall, in clubs, and at the Lutheran Ministry at my university. I am still in touch with several people I met during my college years.
• School consists of both social and academic learning. As I look back on my undergraduate days, I remember a lot more social times with other people than I do lectures or exams. And I'm not really a people person, either. I know I learned a lot from the social end of things. Some of that learning was painful, because when you make friends, people sometimes give feedback that you need but wouldn't otherwise get about behavior and attitude. This is part of people relating to one another and causes necessary growth. Mostly, though, socializing is fun, and being by yourself is lonely.
• The key is to balance your social life and school.
• For me, the debate team and the foreign language house provided communities where I felt accepted and had a good time.
• Living in a dorm helped immensely by immersing me in the college social life.
• My social life revolves mostly around people on my college dorm floor. I'm in Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, too.
• A lot of my social life resulted from my career goals. I wanted to be a programmer and hung around the computer lab—not exactly beer and pizza, but it was very social. There was great interaction and sharing of ideas and concepts. I think I learned more from the other students than from my professors.
• There are many strategies to a fulfilling social life in college. You can join a fraternity or a sorority on campus or live in a dorm. Another way is to join a club that matches your interests. I made a lot of friends by joining a club.
• I made one good friend in a class we were taking together. Every week, we got together and worked on the homework.
• I understand that for some people making friends is not as easy as it is for others. But if you treat people in a friendly manner, they are going to treat you the same, whereas if you feel yourself so different from others that you don't talk to them, you find yourself totally out of place. Everyone is the same and different too. This is what is so good about the world.

Why is it important (or unimportant) for you to have a satisfying social life in high school and/or college? What special challenges do you face and what strategies do you use regarding the development of a successful social life?

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Subject: Locating a Career OneStop

Many states have Career OneStops that give information on a wide range of programs for jobs and training. These centers are sponsored by the U.S. Department of Labor and state and local organizations. More information can be found at

www.careeronestop.org

Explore the resources. Locate a Career OneStop near you by using the "State Gateway."

How might a Career OneStop help you prepare for or obtain employment?

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Subject: Finding resources and support

No one achieves success alone. The comments below provide examples of how successful individuals have found, accessed, and used resources to help them achieve success personally, socially, academically, and professionally.

• Most of the resources I use I found through word of mouth (from parents, friends, and others I know), from newsletters, or from the Internet. Sometimes I find out about something useful by accident, and at other times I ask around or look on the Internet for a specific resource. I often ask others whose opinion I respect for advice, especially when I am making a major decision. I subscribe to a few newsletters and magazines that provide information on topics that interest me and keep lists of useful websites on my home page. (Ph.D. candidate who is blind)
• I ask questions. (high school student with a brain injury)
• Resources I use are people (parents, friends, teachers, mentors, etc.), agencies, financial resources....I have found so many different resources from so many people. As for my technical resources, I have gotten assistance from the local Educational Services District, counselors at the University of Washington, and the adaptive technology instructors at the Commission for the Blind and a community college. As for my social and financial resources, my mother and father have referred me to some of those as well as my counselor at the Commission for the Blind. Online communication has also really helped me find resources. When I use online resources, I can download information to my hard drive and translate it into Braille if I need to. (college student who is blind)
• One way in which I find resources is by being active and involved. Organizations for the blind and campus disability services offices are both good resources and good places to learn about other resources. (college student who is blind)
• One of my resources is my best friend. When I take her along with me, I can tell that people who don't know me feel more comfortable being around me. My friend and I think that there isn't a way that I can't be a part of what she is doing. Being with her is one of the ways I use a natural resource. (high school student with mobility and speech impairments)

Describe one way you have gained (or could gain) access to resources and support to help you in high school or college.