Off the 'Net

Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

  • Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  • Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
  • "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
  • Bo! Bo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!
  • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
  • Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
  • Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
  • Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
  • Damn, there go the lights again...
  • "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys.Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
  • Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
  • Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
  • What's this doing here?
  • I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
  • That's cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!
  • I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
  • Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
  • Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?
  • What do mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!
  • Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
  • And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
  • OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
  • This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
  • Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
  • Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
  • What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
  • She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!