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Off the 'Net
source: anonymous
Things you don't want to hear during surgery:
- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
- Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
- "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
- Bo! Bo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
- Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
- Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
- Damn, there go the lights again...
- "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys.Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
- Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
- What's this doing here?
- I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
- That's cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!
- I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
- Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?
- What do mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!
- Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
- And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
- Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
- What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
- She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!
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